Stupid Stupid Me

I wonder if i'm destined to be in the closet my whole life to people face to face :/

A situation arose today, and although i wouldnt have actually said im gay i would have at least been able to say im bi, which btw i think would be a better option for me at this time if anything.

Anyhoo, the chance was presented to me so clearly. It was on a golden plate, it shouted to me "HELLO, SAY IT!" but i still didn't...

We had an assembly and the whole year was filling up the seats in the main hall and i was, by matter of chance, positioned between Rob and Kev who in recent weeks i have learned are both bisexual although it seems they swing more to the girl side.
But thats neither here nor there.

Can't remember what we were discussing but Rob and Kev were joking about a guy sitting a few rows in front, saying they'd do him :P
And i was all silent, not saying much, just joining in with the laughter and Rob said, "Ahh, its great being bi" Kev agreed with him, "Yeh, it is"
And i still fucking said nothing!!!!

Gah!
What would it have taken for me to say something like, "Haha, same" !?!?!?!?

As soon as the moment passed i realised it, i literally facepalmed.

Why couldn't i say it? Nothing untoward would have been said, nothing bad would have happened.

It's not like i wasn't quick enough or anything, i could have easily said it but i didn't. I put it down to cowardice. No, really, that was so cowardly. There was nothing to be afraid of but i still said nothing.

*sigh* I'll never get anywhere if i don't seize opportunities like that.


In other news, i got marks for my bass prelim scores back and they are like last years - disappointing - but they always mark the prelims harshly. They did last year and i got full marks on both instruments in the final exam so im not worried. Think i'll be getting my guitar marks back tomorrow.

Also, we've started social dance which im just not having any of. I "forgot" my PE kit today. I've put up with social dance the past four years but no longer! (unless i can dance with a guy of course xD)

Anyhoo, thats about it for now. dunno when i'll post next coz, of course, im off to London on Thursday...

Cheerio from Abigco Ward...


Rowan <3