Muse Are Almost Here!

After many months of worrying, the tickets for Muse's concert at Wembley arrived today.

So relieved, I can rest easy :)

It's now only 14 days away. This time in exactly 2 weeks I will be watching Muse... live... AT WEMBLEY! What a thought! Big grin on my face as i type this :D

There honestly isn't much to this post, just saying that i now have my ticket haha

It's all lovely and colourful btw, big multicoloured ticket and I've hidden it away somewhere in the house so only I know where it is. Paranoid much? Maybe, just don't want anything to happen to it, although i'm sure it's safe :P

Next two weeks will now be the longest of my life, inevitably. The minutes will drag on, the hours will slow, the classes will become trials of death but it will all be worth it in the end coz not only will i have seen my favourite band at one of the worlds best venues, i will also not have to be so nice to Steven all the time.

I'm currently trying my best to stay on his good side but it's sooo difficult having to up with his shit all the time. And it's not just his homophobic crap, just his attitude in general. I'm repeating myself, i know, ive said all this stuff before but he can just be really unpleasant person a lot of the time. My point is, i wont have to put up with it much longer. Good things come to those who wait, apparently...


Rowan <3

You *Must* Read This Post!

No, it's not mine it is on someone else's blog. You may or may have not stumbled across it at some point, it's in my blog list and it is entitled : My Gay Little Brother

The guy who writes it is called Alex and is 17, his little brother, Tony is 14 and is gay.

Anyway, i just read this post now (http://gaylittlebrother.blogspot.com/2010/08/hello-again-remember-us.html) and it had me in tears, please read this, it's stunning!


Rowan <3

Let's See... Umm... School, QI, Spotify, Birthdays, Celebrities and Cheese Sandwiches

I've been back at school for a week now and nothing of any particular change has taken place. Things just pretty much picking up where they left off i suppose.

No miraculous change in Steven, although it seems as if such a thing will never be on the cards.

The workload is already pretty heavy, they're throwing it at us and saying "COMPLETE IT!!!" while they do so.

Think i should have thought more carefully before picking two languages to study at the same time at this level. Ho hum.

I was busy seeing teachers all last week to try and get some percentage scores back from my exams. I haven't got all yet, but here is what i have so far :

Music - 91% (and I got 30/30 in my performance for both guitar and bass, which i was not expecting *at all* ^^)

French - 96%

Modies - 94% (Beat my friend Louis who i had been contesting with all year, scraping for the best results, he got 92%)

Biology - 70% (which is literally just an A, but it's still an A)


And thats all for now in terms of results, and school for that matter.


Recently, i've been quite obsessed with two things - QI and Spotify.

For those who don't know, QI is a British panel show hosted by the legendary Stephen Fry. It's funny, topical and factual at the same time. I've talked about it on here before but yeh, i've been quite obsessed with it as of late. It saddens me that there are only the first 3 series released on DVD so i have a request of you. my followers.

http://www.petitiononline.com/qidvd/petition.html

It is a petition to get QI series D and onwards released on DVD. It takes literally 1 minute and think of it as a birthday present to Stephen Fry himself, who turns 53 tomorrow :)


And so, Spotify.

I've had it a while now. For those who don't know (i sound like a teacher) it's a free music service which allows you to listen to loads of music. My use of it has increased rapidly over the past few weeks coz i realised that there are loads of albums and artists that i haven't, and really should have listened to by now (call myself a musician!? :P)

But yeh, i confess to never hearing a U2 or Lou Reed album from start to finish until yesterday. I've also not listened to a full album from Pink Floyd (not available on Spotify), The Who, Rush, Thin Lizzy, Smashing Pumpkins, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin (also not available), Guns N Roses, Jethro Tull, Radiohead and the list goes on but i am on my way to rectifying this immediately. As i type, i am listening to Coldplay's "A Rush of the Blood to the Head".

Forgive me, i've never heard it before!

Unfortunately, The Beatles are also not on Spotify so I still have to wait until i listen to one of their albums from start to finish for the first time - Calm down, I am buying Sgt. Pepper's later tonight on Amazon!

So as you can see, music is occupying a lot of my time at the moment. Spotify uses internet access but aside from that and a few social networking sites, my internet usage has been very minimal recently (a joint decision by myself and my mum) But i'm thinking it's a shame there isn't a Spotify version for movies, there are some really shocking films i haven't seen, that i have no excuse to have not watched... E.T *hides*


Anyhoo, this week is a mini-big week - A certain family member's birthday (who i shall not reveal) is today. Stephen Fry's is tomorrow :P

I said i'd finished talking about school but i forgot to mention a few things.

On Thursday, i am interviewing a fairly well-known British celebrity/singer/songwriter/presenter/talent show winner... in Media Studies. Tbh, i say she is well-known, but only probably in Britain. Anyway, she is coming to the school and each person in the class gets to ask her questions, should be fun.

I'd like to say who it is but i'm not gonna so please don't ask questions about it :)

And in English, the class has been writing reflective/imaginative essays. Well, im the only one of 30 people doing one purely imaginative and it's pretty dark O_O
It's to be handed in on Thursday, so if it goes down well i might post it on here but i'm making no promises.


In other news, it's 19 days until Muse at Wembley, 25 days until my one year blog-aversary and i'm currently eating a cheese sandwich.


Rowan <3

What Lies Ahead?

Well, i know it's only been 9 days since my last post but I feel as if I should make another, simply for the reason that school returns tomorrow and I thought I would give the lowdown on what I know is going to happen and what isn't.

Of course, one can never predict the future but I know for sure this year is going to be tough, if not tougher, than last year.
I am studying less subjects, yes, but with that comes a heavier workload of which I am sure to feel the brunt of in the coming months.

Anyway, not just school drama this year, but other drama.

Muse at Wembley in less than 4 weeks with Steven and his dad. Ought to be interesting but hopefully enjoyable at the same time. I will also be on a plane on September 11th which is quite a scary thought tbh O_O
Im kinda stressing about tickets coz they haven't been delivered yet but i'm sure they will eventually.

September will be an interesting month. Not only seeing Muse but I have signed up for something called EMA (Education Maintenance Allowance) which means I will recive money for attending school. It is delivered on a weekly basis but only if you have 100% attendance for that week. One absence and you get nada which is a nuisance - my attendance is hardly ever 100% so i doubt i will get it weekly. We shall soon see.
It does just add extra pressure i suppose but hey, money for going to school!

October should be a kinda average month but around November and Christmas will be busy. Schoolwork always intensifies, and there are a few other events taking place around this period.

But Christmas will be a reward for me: Steven is leaving school.

I shouldn't be delusional that he will be gone from my life but he will be missing from a major part of it. After all, there's still that bastard thing called the internet that he can use to contact me :/

Piece o' shit...

He's going to a music course at some crap college btw, which i find hilarious coz he has no musical knowledge at all. He likes to think he does, but he doesn't. He "plays" guitar too. I use the term "play" lightly...

He's awful.

Best of luck with that college course mate! lol

And then after Christmas there's more Prelims/Exams/BS etc. etc.


As for this summer. Well, at least i can't complain that it was uneventful at least...

My breakdown is this :

Spectacular start. Miserable middle. Tepid termination. (or in other words, utterly boring finale)

Meh. Not a summer to remember.

Oh i forgot i was betrayed by my cousin (for the 2nd time, btw) as well, at the start...

Betrayed by two people in one month! Wow, im good!


Anyway, things are drib-drab right now. Not much to post about so this hiatus really is working well. Regarding a date for my "return" ... i don't know. Maybe i'll just post a few times a month or something, just felt like the blog was owed a post today, and it's also it's 150th. So yeh...

Forgot about that Queen poll so here are the two joint songs that won but you probably wont listen coz they're way overplayed. Here's a live version instead.





Cheers,
Rowan

Thoughts on "Richard/JJ"

I was debating whether to actually make this post or not coz it might not side well with many people, however i don't care. Does it matter anymore? Not to me. Blogger has gone to shit pretty much.

So, i was sitting around last night about to go to bed and i was alerted that Paul posted a message from "JJ" on his blog (there goes my sleep) so i decided to check it out.

Some of what was in the message i knew a bit of but a fair chunk was new to me. That threw me back. As did the many comments that followed.

Here is what made my blood boil : (i wont name names but it is clear to see who posted back on the comment section)


"I'll welcome you with open arms."


"You have a great imagination."

"I have to say you are a great writer and story teller."

"MSN was where you made enemies, so stick to a blog, and emails."

But here's the best one - "Perhaps you could even start to pen your own story like Cody and Tristan, you definitely have the talent for it. Just make sure you are honest when talking about yourself."

Just gtfo seriously.

I dunno why people would welcome "Richard" back (im sure he will read this but i still dont care) he decieved us, every last one of us, for 6 months and some people want more deception? Screw that.
He does have a great imagination, he may be a great writer and story teller but that is what he fucked us over with.
I enjoyed that one about msn too.
But that last one is something special. I don't even have the words to say anything about it.


On the other hand, here is some stuff from the comments i did like -

"all these guys that want you back well thats just crazy"


"seem to me some these guys want to make you a hero well you are no hero to me and i hope i never meet someone like you again."

"forgiveness at any cost? Sorry, not in my book"

I also enjoyed Sammy B's post, Gabe's 2nd post, David's 2nd post and the words of Lightning Baltimore. You guys + DJ can be my friends.


And this is to "Richard", my final words to him :

I don't really know where to begin now that i know everything. Everything has been made up...
You want applause, well you have it from me, you successfully fucked me over. Congratulations.
I was so excited when we first met. I felt ecsatic, i wanted to talk to you 24/7 to try and get to know you better. I did, well, i got to know of your dreams and your dream problems.
You kept me up on many nights till past 4am to deal with those "problems" which were all made up. You were the cause of many sleepless nights because i had real feelings for you. I wonder if you did for me, or maybe you sat there laughing at everyone.
The hospital visit, the story about Mike, the story about the school bully, your coming out story, your parents knowing about your blog, your constant "fights" with David which constantly had me on edge and worried, your gay friends which i envied... the list goes on... it aroused all these different emotions and actions in me which i now know meant absolutely nothing.
I cried for you, with you, i made you a fucking video for your birthday and it probably wasn't even your birthday for all i know. I even sang on camera for you.
Over the months, i felt like i was talking to a real person. It seemed real, i never questioned your photos, or the itunes cards you somehow managed to afford, but that all counts for nothing now.

I hope you're happy. You have left me with severe trust issues. I told you stuff that i never thought i would ever tell anyone in the whole world. You know some of my deepest secrets and you're not even who you say you are. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL!?
To me, some random kid knows too much about me. I feel naked and vulnerable.
David came to me with some suspicions not long ago and i said he was being paranoid and left it at that. You had me so engrossed with you, you had me wrapped around your little finger. I denied his suspicions coz i didn't want to imagine anything like that happening - what is happening right now.
But what i don't get is why you feel you had to lie. Why couldn't you come into blogland and blog about your real life and the truths instead of your dream life?
I don't, DJ didn't, David didn't. Gabe didn't.  They don't make up plastic and phoney bullcrap. (I hope but i dunno, how can i trust anyone?) You could have posted about your real life and this shit would have never happened. Your real life problems could have been helped with instead of made up stuff. And BTW, that is *could have* i don't want redemption in hearing it now, i couldn't care and i couldn't trust your words.
I don't even know if what you have told everyone now is true. Everything has built up and over the past few weeks the cold, hard truth has emerged and has again caused me a great lack of sleep. The past 6 months which i thought were brilliant now, are total shit.
Im not going to say anything else but i echo the words of DJ "i hope i never meet someone like you again"
And to round things off, i concur with how Gabe feels as well "YOU have made me want to stop blogging"

Goodbye... "friend"


I don't know when you guys will here from me again. You can thank Richard or whatever the fuck he wants to be called.

Bye.

Exam Results

So, they did come today... eventually.

Most people i was talking said that the email was going to come at about 3pm but i literally received my email 20 minutes ago.

The waiting was horrible, knowing it could come any minute and seeing all my friends discussing their results. Something went wrong with getting the emails delivered to hotmail accounts, stuff about the email provider being blocked or some crap, idk.

Anyway, The results are in :




Biology - A

English - B

French - A

Mathematics - B

Media Studies - A

Modern Studies - A

Music - A

Spanish - A



I'm sorry, i had to rub my eyes and check it a few time as well. Did that say Biology - A?

Did that say Maths - B?


Yes, it did :D


I'm quite speechless. I couldn't have asked for better (well 8 A's maybe lol) but i wasn't even expecting to get anything near as good as that.
 
I thought i might have got a few C's and perhaps a fail in Biology but no! Look! LOOOOOOOOOK!
 
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
Take that Mr.Kerr (biology teacher) and Mrs Smith (maths teacher)
 
I can't wait to see their faces! Woooooooooot
 
 
The only thing that (ever so slightly) disappoints me is the B in English but like, whatever :D
 
B is still a good pass.
 
 
Oh, im so relieved, words cant express so i'll leave it here. The hard work paid off and the many words of encouragement (especially with the maths) over the past few months have helped me achieve my goal.
 
Thanks so much everyone :')
 
 
Love and hugs,
Rowan

Holiday Part 7 - Back in London

Mum had a few things planned and a few people she wanted to meet while we were in London. You see, we did used to live in London for a few years so we still know and see people from around there when we go.

The first day back in London actually just happened to be the hottest day of the year. A scorching 31C, hotter than Lanzarote in fact.

My mum, sister and I went for a walk in a park and got some ice-cream, which melted, then went off to see the first of our old friends.
We hadn't seen them in about 4/5 years and they have a boy my age who i used to be inseperable from when we were about 3 or 4 years old but now i dont't really know him. I was quite anxious about meeting him coz i thought it may have been quite awkward.

It turned out ok, we played some xbox, found out we shared similar music tastes (Rage, Muse, Kasabian) and he also played guitar. It wasn't awkward at all, i quite enjoyed being with him as a matter of fact. (He also only called something "gay" once! :P)

A quite decent afternoon overall and we returned, (i say) *home* and the whole thing about Raoul Moat was on the news so i wacthed that and farted about doing nothing.

The next day was our last in London. The sun split the tress again and we actually went strawberry picking. Dancing through the fields, how fun.
Nah, it was not bad actually.

Strawberries were good :)

We ate them back at the house with some cream, lovely.

While eating. a conversation about Brighton popped up. My dad and brother, along with two of my cousins, my aunt and uncle visited while we were in Lanzarote.
They just went to the sea front and the pier and all the touristy stuff, but i made no secret about wanting to visit too. Hehe
My cousin lives there in fact, but she is not gay :P
She goes to Uni.
And my aunt says "Oh it is a lovely place, your cousin loves it. It is, however the (hushed voice) gay capital of Britain"
I simply told her i was aware of this fact but i still want to go.

Anyway, here's something quite astounding that happened, not long after and a few hours before we were due to leave.

There was World Cup football on the tv and i was getting rather bored of it. My aunt and uncle, their mum (well my aunt's mum, my uncles' mother-in-law) lives with them and she is a very old lady. I worked it out and i think she was born in 1922. But she is so kind. Unfortunately, i dont think she has many years left in her :(
The whole family just respects her, it seems to me and righfully so, she has lived a long and good life.

She also knitted a suit for a stuff toy of mine when i was like a month old, and i still have that stuffed toy but not the suit, i only have the scarf she knitted for it. She knitted a lot and it earned her the nickname of "Mrs.Knitter"

So, we got chatting away, she has a surprisingly good long-term memory and she was telling me about her wedding day and when she used to go dancing and how no white woman would dance with any black men but she did.
And then she invited to show me some old photos she has in her room so i got quite interested ans said i would like to see them.

It was astouding, the amount of priceless photos she has and old bits and pieces of stuff. 50th wedding anniversary presents, the lot. It just showed how much of a full life she has had and i found myself getting quite emotional.

I was thinking this is the last time i might ever see this woman and that made me quite sad but that was brought to a whole new level when we had to say goodbye. Everyone was hugging and handshakes again and she brought me aside for a moment and said "Listen to me, you have a good life ok? Don't worry about me"
I almost burst into tears right there, but just put on a brave face and said "yeh" and smiled weakly.

Trying to hide it in the car, on the journey to the bus station, was quite difficult. I just sorta sobbed quietly coz i couldn't stop thinking about what she said to me.

But we got on the bus fine and off we shot, overnight back home.

It wasnt fun, i found it quite uncomfortable, but driving through the middle of London at night was really cool, with all the lights and everything.

There isn't really much else to tell in all honesty, we arrived back home a few hours later and i crashed out on my bed and proceeded to watch the World Cup Final when i woke up. Spain won! Woot!

Good 'andling.

Thanks for reading all my holiday posts guys and your comments, it's been good. Im writing this on 28th July and this is August 1st (what a strange thought) so i'll update you on my exam results in a few days.

Cheers everyone!

Hugs,
Rowan