Reading and Leeds Part 1

Sorry it's taken me a while to get round to doing this. Got back on Monday quite late and yesterday i was really tired. Probably made way for the cold i'm currently putting up with but i shall type away about Leeds first of all and Reading in another post in the next few days! *sniffles*

We left on Friday morning, that is, me, my dad who drove and my brother who came along for the ride and to miss some school :P

We picked Bryan up and headed for Leeds festival. The journey was quite meh, i was quite nervous for the whole thing as i usually am before going into a gig - I always worry that something is wrong with the tickets etc - We got to Leeds about 11am but didn't actually get into the site till around noon. Everything went smoothly by the way. On arrival, it was chucking it down and it was obvious that wellies were needed - lucky we brought a pair each. So we got our wristbands and entered the site.

Once inside, Bryan had to buy a rain poncho as he forgot any sort of waterproof clothing.

The first band we seen were Fucked Up. Personally, i wouldn't have gone to see them but the rain was really heavy so we went into the NME tent and they happened to be playing. I wanted to see Dananananaykroyd but we were too late. Fucked Up aren't my kind of music but they put on a good show nonetheless.

We decided to brave the rain at the main stage for Frank Turner and it was worth it. He was surprisingly good!


Now. Festivals aren't all about the music. In fact, just outside the arena there was an EA Games setup. They were showing advanced previews of Battlefield 3. I wouldn't have been interested in it but Bryan, being the obsessive gamer that he is, was all over it. I went with him of course, coz it was his festival as much as it was mine. We waited a while to get in and once we did all i really cared about was being dry for a while :P

We got some new gameplay footage and a test demo of the game which is apparently in pre-alpha stage or something :S

The demo was quite fun admittedly. I thought i'd be partnered with Bryan but we got separated and i played with some randomer who died within a few minutes :/ I blame the fact that it was on PS3!
Anyway, we got custom dog tags made for us by the staff and were told that this is the only public showing of this game at the moment so i guess we were rather privileged in hindsight.

Back in the rain, we watched Enter Shitkari and they were atrocious. Really don't like their music. Bryan does somewhat but admitted that their setlist and performance were crap. I was so bored by them that i took a picture of a depressed looking security guard.

The torrential downpour probably didn't make Enter Shitari any better.

I had to get some food after this because i was STARVING. Had to settle for some greasy, overpriced festival chips but they did the job i guess.

We caught the end of Panic! At the Disco because Death From Above 1979 were on after them.

Now DFA are on a reunion tour and haven't played in over 5 years. I've only got into them recently but their gig was great. Was cautious to begin with as i didn't want to hurt myself before Muse but i decided that since it may be the only time i'll get to see them live, i'd go down the front. Bryan stood nearer the back because he wasn't too impressed with them. Meh, i had a great time. Crowd were really up for it!

Seeing DFA was a little risky because they were on quite close to Muse so we ran in ankle deep mud from the NME tent to the main stage where we caught Elbow in the middle of their set. Just in time. I'd listened to Elbow before going and wasn't too enamoured with them but even in the rain they managed to brighten things up.

Guy Garvey is such a great frontman. Amazing voice as well, and now i'm certainly a lot more interested in the band.

Muse followed Elbow nearly an hour later and we had decent places for them. Probably about halfway between the sound desk and the stage, although i'd have liked to have been a bit closer.

Now, i had been waiting for this moment for months, and to see the songs Muse were going to perform for years so when they came on and the intro called 'What's He Building In There?' was played, i started to well up. Seriously. It's the intro to their best DVD which is such a brilliant gig - Hullabaloo. When it came on i just felt a tingle in the air and knew it was going to be a great night.

Not my video btw

And this is the version on the DVD:



On their DVD this is followed by, "Dead Star" so i got really excited, only for them to launch right into Origin of Symmetry with "New Born"

Would have like to see Dead Star but i wasn't too bothered. The gig of a lifetime was under way.

They proceeded to play Origin of Symmetry as i proceeded to bounce my way closer to the front without knowing it, losing Bryan in the process but that was always going to happen i think.

I met some awesome people in the crowd. An equally hardcore fan who i enjoyed Hyper Music with before joining up randomly with a group of other hardcore fans during Citizen Erased. I only realised i was a few rows from the front by about Darkshines. So maybe about 40 minutes in.

I proceeded to do my usual confetti throwing during Feeling Good as it's something that Matt Bellamy used to do in the Origin days but stopped. Although apparently he brought it back for Leeds. I didn't see coz i was throwing my own :P

Was quite sad after that when Megalomania was played as the album was coming to a close. But i was determined to enjoy it and i did. It was one of the highlights without a doubt. I met a Scottish guy in the crowd who asked if i wanted to go on his shoulders (i swear he fancied me or something, kept brushing my hair out my eyes :P) but i politely decline before thinking, "fuck it, why not" y'know? Not something i'll get to do an awful lot.

Was only probably on his shoulders for 30 seconds before he got tired but the view from there is something i'll take to my grave. Looking back all i could see was a sea of faces stretching as far as the eye could see and in front of me, an unobstructed view of Muse playing one of my favourite songs ever. It was just surreal. So grateful to that guy, that legend <3

After that unbelievable performance of one of my favourite albums of all time, i could have died right there. It was bliss. It was perfect. It was flawless.

The Scottish guy and I sang Celtic songs (my dad supports them, too, so i know a bit about them) during the break between Megalomania and Uprising. Probably getting some weird looks from people but who cares, it was great fun!

Muse went into the greatest hits part of their setlist after Origin, all of which i'd seen before so it was the cool down period but i enjoyed it nonetheless (except from the crap that is Undisclosed Desires, Resistance and Starlight) and took a few photos. It was still a bit disappointing that Muse didn't surprise us with any other rarities but then again, they just played about 8 of them so i shouldn't complain :P

It may not look very close but that's my camera for you. Plus, the barrier was further away than usual to allow for pyrotechnics etc.

They closed on Knights of Cydonia which is good to jump around to no matter how many times you've seen it - this occasion was my third - and afterwards i was done in. Met Bryan at a pre-arranged point afterwards, stumbled up to him and almost collapsed in the mud.

I literally could have fallen asleep there but we had to wait over an hour for a bloody taxi in the pouring rain. Not fun, but we got chatting to some people in the queue about the gig and everyone was really kind and funny. Weird, coz on the Muse Messageboard people have been saying that festival crowds, and especially Reading and Leeds crowds, are mostly twats. Maybe i missed them, at Leeds, and got lucky, coz most folk i met were great! :)

We eventually got our expensive taxi to the hotel where my dad and brother started laughing at the state of us. Not that we really cared. Bryan and I both had a shower (not together - i wish!) and we watched some Billy Connolly before going to bed.

I said before that i can never usually sleep after a gig but with Bryan by my side, the day couldn't have ended better and i slept like a log in anticipation of doing the whole thing again at Reading :)

Rowan <3

Reading and Leeds

I should probably be sleeping just now instead of posting but oh well. I also should have posted earlier to save me doing this now. Meh.

Anyhoo. Tomorrow, i depart for Leeds to see Muse play one of my favourite albums of all time live and i simply cannot wait. It's probably part of the reason i can't sleep is that i'm waaaaay too excited! :D

Also, can't wait to experience the festival atmosphere and the mudbaths that go with it. The insane mosh pits that Reading and Leeds are famed for should be great as well. I'm not a big one for mosh pits and at Leeds i'll take it easy to keep myself healthy for Reading but when i see them there i just want to say that i will have literally no regard for my health and safety whatsoever :)

This is a once (or twice) in a lifetime thing and i want to experience it properly.

At least we have Saturday off so we can chill and get geared up for Sunday's events. And on Monday, there is a good chance that we could play football with Muse's bassist, Chris Wolstenholme which would be a dream come true. One of my heroes. He arranges football matches for fans to attend and watch. Such a god.

So yeah, here's hoping that this is just about the perfect weekend. There's no reason it shouldn't be. Seeing Muse, seeing family in London, seeing Bryan (and sleeping in the same bed as him - gaaaaahhhhhh!!!), seeing loads of bands. Just earth shattering.

Even more good news: I got an eye infection last week \o/

But no, i went back to the hospital today and they gave the all clear for me to wear contacts again - I was scared my eye wouldn't have healed in time but it has! Awesome news.


I'm gonna be completely honest. I could probably die happy after Monday. Not that i do plan on dying or anything but if i were to for some terrible reason then so be it haha

Just glad i didn't die while seeing Flogging Molly this evening in which there was a strong possibility i could have died. I'd say it was probably the most insane crowd i've ever been in. The whole place was a mosh pit so it was unavoidable, but so amazing at the same time.

I'm gonna be completely honest again: if the crowd at Muse tomorrow, OR at Reading on Sunday is half as good as Flogging Molly was tonight, then i'll be damned. Honestly. It was a crazy crowd but a loving crowd. Looking out for each other and there was a weird kind of family atmosphere as well. Drunken Lullabies definitely being one of the highlights but so was the point after the gig ended and "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life" came on the PA and half the crowd got into a big circle for a HUGE jig, dance, thing.

That just doesn't happen at normal gigs. Certainly not at Muse. Totally different crowd.

That isn't to say i'm not looking forward to one of the best weekends of my life :P

Going to that gig tonight is probably another reason why i'm still up. Got loads of adrenaline, still (Going to a gig knowing i have to get up at 6am the next morning definitely wasn't one of my better ideas)
I don't get tired after gigs for some reason. My legs and feet hurt but i don't feel like sleeping. It's weird.

Just gonna be really tired tomorrow i guess but there's no way that's stopping me enjoying my day. I'm sure the adrenaline will be flowing once more!

I'll post about everything sometime next week when my head, if it hasn't been blown off by awesomness, can unwind and spew out what happened xD


Rowan <3

Summer Ends

Back to the same old tomorrow.

My final year of high school and in all honesty, probably the most pointless year i will have ever had.

Ok, that's a lie but it is still going to be quite a redundant year, what with my sparkling exams results and all ;)

I'm hoping for a more relaxed and social year. Effectively only doing two subjects: Italian and Modern Studies/Photography. Advanced Music and Video Editing don't count as real subjects :P
So yeah, hopefully it'll be a bit more chilled but despite that and getting money for going to school, i'd rather not return at all.

It's just that i can't be bothered with all the studying, exams, assessments learning ANOTHER language, and all the general fucking bullshit that high school brings.

I'm surprised that a lot of my year's twats haven't went anywhere. You know the people im talking about. The people who at 17 years old still find it a laugh to call people "benders", "mongos" "fags" "retards". There's still fair number of them left and it is genuinely odd that they haven't
a) been kicked out
b) left of their own accord and claimed benefits.

But i'm not concerning myself with them. Or at least, i will try like i always have done to avoid them.

Yeah. Fuck 'em.

I've pretty much always been of that opinion but today just reinforced why, i think.

Last day of the holidays, thought i'd spend a day out with my friends. Not everyone was there but most were, including Kev who i haven't seen for ages!

He was acting unbelievably camp. It was brilliant. I joined in :D

One point Josh was walking with us and this random hot guy walked past. Kev went, "Woah" and i asked, "What?"
He just replied,"Nothing... ok that hot blonde guy"
"Yeah, he really was, wasn't he!?" i said and we both laughed.

I've never confided in Kev about my sexuality but now he pretty much knows and that was it!
No big deal about it or anything :)
Josh was just sitting there completely out of place with "us two gay gentlemen" as Kev put it haha

We went to see Super 8 and we sat next to each other rating the hot guys in the trailers. The winner had to be one of the young hot guys in the trailer for The Three Musketeers :P

The critic in me must discuss Super 8 for a few sentences now. It was good overall. Pretty much a compilation of every Steven Spielberg film ever made. The child actors were well cast i'd say and some of the scenes (such as the train crash) were visually dazzling and like being hit in the face repeatedly for 2 whole minutes... in a good way.

I won't spoil the ending but it was such a disappointment to me. The majority of the film had it's cliché moments and the ending just to took it one step further in that respect and in terms of absurdity. The last 10 minutes didn't ruin the film but it almost did. I think i expected too much. It did deliver but not as well as i would have hoped.

Anyway, Kev's womanlyness shone through. He cried at the ending! *facepalm* haha

Maybe i'm just too cynical :P

Still, it was a good day and a nice, quiet end to a much more eventful summer than i'd have ever planned.
I sat on the train on the way home, listening to Dark Side of the Moon, taking in the last bit of holiday sun and reflecting:
I've been so many places. Some new, some old.
Enjoyed my time with friends. Got drunk with them on a few occasions, too.
I've had people interested in me. Ok, not in the way i'd have liked but still.
Came out to a few people.
Got to watch my favourite team from one of the world's most famous stands.
Had a fair amount of sun. Not enough but hey, it's Britain after all.

Its just been really unexpected in all honesty. Not a summer where i can say i've enjoyed every minute, coz i haven't, but it's been more than i thought it would be.
I imagined a summer of countless rainy days, sitting inside and watching movies. There have been a few of those days but definitely an equal amount of doing better things and for that i am glad.

The only regret i have this summer is that i didn't watch *enough* movies. Seriously, i have at least 40 just sitting there, screaming at me to be watched.

They can wait for a bit :P

Hope all your Brits have enjoyed your holidays, like myelf, and to those the other side of the pond, i hope you continue to do so :)


Rowan <3


But the summer doesn't end there, oh no. There is still Reading and Leeds in 8 days time and i think we can still count that as summer. I will be anyway :)

A Week Away

Just back from my week at Josh's place.

It was a good week.

But my week actually started the day before, at Anfield in Liverpool. My dad and i went to see Liverpool vs Valencia. We won 2-0 which was good but i was mostly bothered about being sat in the Kop which is something i can tick off my bucket list (not that i plan on dying any time soon)

Obviously, it was just a friendly match and the atmosphere wasn't as good as it probably is for big matches but that doesn't bother me a jot.

While we were at the match, my mum and sister went into town to see a film and Liverpool's Gay Pride was on at the time but if they seen any of the festivities, neither of them mentioned it.
Anfield is a bit further from the city centre so i didn't see anything either.

Anyhoo, after this i was dropped at Josh's. Was about 30 minutes from Liverpool.

There were 6 people there that night and it was, in all honesty, the best night of the week and this was before the week even began :P

Josh was there of course, Nicholas was staying for the full two weeks, Rob arrived the same day i did and two other friends (who i wont name to keep names to a minimum) were there, too.

It was quite a crazy night, but that's coz we pretty much had a whole house to ourselves.

Basically there is the main house, then a little annex behind it and a two floor converted garage which was left to us, meaning we could stay up till whenever and be as loud as we liked. We did exactly that. Plentiful supply of alcohol as well. Must have had 7 bottles in 2 or 3 hours as well as Josh's dad providing some whiskey.

Needless to say, i was sick again and i apparently threw a whiskey glass at a wall but whatever :P


The two nameless friends left the next day and i think the effects were felt immediately. It was way quieter. I have to say that mine and Rob's arrival were probably a breath of fresh air to everyone else who had spent a whole week with each other but we were down to four.

The first couple of days were quite enjoyable, just getting to enjoy the place and the area. We went into Liverpool itself one day but it was a bit disappointing because all the shops closed really early due to the fucking disgraceful riots.

We still bought NERF guns and had a battle back at the house coz we're so awesome liek \m/

Went into Manchester another day, without Nicholas coz he's a lazy shit :P

I slag it off sometimes coz i support Liverpool but i don't think i'll knock it again. It seems a really open and diverse city. As soon as we got out the car and turned the corner, we walked straight past an LGBT bar and in the beer garden there were two guys kissing. It was really sweet :)

Never seen anything like that where i live. Truth.

I thought we were about to immerse ourselves into Manchester's gay district which i hear is quite large but that must have just been the edge because we headed right into the town centre and done some window shopping. Went to a milkshake bar. Yes, a milkshake bar. Where i had a skittles milkshake and played the owner at Street Fighter. He won but it was still awesome.

Apparently, there's some free tasting day this Thursday and i'd love to go but obviously i can't :/

That's all the city-seeing. Most other days we had things like food eating competitions, more gun battles, annoying Rob :P

Josh's dad got it right; Rob is the whipping boy of the group. We always take the piss out of him!

Josh's dad himself is honestly is one of the most legendary dad's on the planet - excluding the fact that he left Josh's disabled mum on her own - The amount of hassle is must have been to have a group of 17 years olds staying and getting food and drinks for everyone must have been insane but it didn't seem to phase him. Apparently we weren't a bother ^_^

Another running thing was having bacon everyday and playing a game of Monopoly. Josh's dad cooked all our meals (coz he's a god) and because he was stuck one night, he just put bacon through the mash potatoes. Words cant decribe :')

Also, with Monopoly. We all won at least a game each but Nicholas won 5.

A true reflection of his real life: having insane amounts of money, possessions and luck.


Towards the end of the week, things got a bit more tense. Everyone was getting on each others' nerves and we all kinda just wanted to go home. I had a stupid argument one night with Josh about music then another night about a new guitar he bought. Pointless shit.

In the midst of this, Rob, who never drinks, got drunk! Bloody hell it was funny and it was one of those "I was there moments" coz he is usually very anti-alcohol and afterwards said it would never be happening again.

We shall see about that.

Anyhow. The day before we were all due to come home, shit hit the fan. Nicholas and Josh really fell out and Nicholas left along with Rob and got the train home. Simply coz he wanted to go home and because he had enough money to do so.

It was quite a shock but i suppose spending two weeks living like a pig with the same person can get to you. I didn't like him leaving like that, without saying thanks to Josh's dad, but i understand why he did.

Rob has no excuse. He begged Josh to come down and after finding out he could, he leaves a day early.

It may also be the last time we see him for a good while as he won't be coming back to school. He left that early as well.


So Josh and I spent the final night adding the finishing touches to a song we've been working on which was interesting but challenging. From that alone, i can see how difficult it would be to actually be in a band.
Just difference of opinions on what sounds the best really but in all fairness the song is originally mine and Josh was just adding his input.
I've changed it about a little since then and i like it but it still isn't finished. It is indeed, the first song i have ever wrote.

I still don't even know if Josh and I are a proper band. I play bass obviously and he's a drummer but we both dabble in guitar and he got a new one recently...

The song we wrote is actually all distorted bass and drums with a little bit of synth in it and it still sounds good so we're debating whether or not a guitarist is needed. If it is, then we plan to approach Alex coz he's rather talented.


The next day it was time to go home and i saved over £50 in doing so.

As Nicholas left a day early, he left his original ticket behind so i used that and called my mum telling her so. She can refund the ticket i didn't use!

Either way, i didn't see one conductor on that train (a VIRGIN train) for the whole journey so i could have had the journey for free anyway. Good thing Nicholas did go home in that case or i might have actually wasted my ticket altogether.


That is really about all there is to tell. It was a good week, as i said, but i was a little disappointed from all the wild stories i've heard from previous years. Probably coz there were more people before. If the two friends didn't leave then it would probably have been better, or if other people were allowed to come.

Alas, it seems 4 people in a confined space can be difficult to deal with for a whole week. I'm still glad i went even if it probably was the first and last time i go - Josh's dad plans to sell the house -  but for now, i'm just really happy to be back in my own house and can't wait to sleep in my own bed after i click "Publish post" in a few minutes time :)


Rowan <3


Below is a band i have recently discovered after Josh told me about them and after i found they were playing Reading and Leeds. They are called Death From Above 1979 and consist of a drummer and a bassist only and is why Josh and I question if a guitarist is needed in our band as the music these guys make is amazing... and also rather insane! As a bassist who enjoys his fair share of distortion, i admire the bass playing for DFA and i simply cannot wait to see them in 11 days time.

Exam Results

Like last year, i was on the receiving end of an arse up from the exam board.

I won't go into detail but i received my email at 1:30 in the morning. Think that says something.

Anyway, my results... were great. I couldn't have asked for more. Well, i could've but meh.

English - B
French - A
Media - A
Music - A
Spanish - A


Clever clogs, eh? :P

Of course, i'm a bit irked at English but it's quite funny actually.

Last year in English i was on track to achieve an A since around Christmas, got an A in the prelims and then got a B in the final exam.

Exact same story this year.

Hopefully this year will continue to follow last year's path and i will get an appeal and eventually receive an A in about October. We shall see. I did get an A in the prelims after all, and i'm quite certain that i wasn't far off an A!

Most of my friends got the results they desired as well. Susan got 3 A's i think. Rob got 2. Melly got all A's i think. Bryan surpassed his expectations. Due to his Grandad dying during the exam period he didn't study much but ended up getting 4 A's and failing maths but he knew he would anyway.

The only person i know of who was left a bit disappointed was Josh. He wants to go into medicine and to do that you pretty much need A's across the board.
Think he got 2 A's, a B and 2 C's.

They're not disastrous results but knowing Josh, he definitely expected more of himself. He might even have to change some subjects for next year :/

I'm also going to do so tomorrow, but voluntarily.

I don't need to re-sit anything thankfully but i'm basically going to go in and say, "Right, i'll do Photography or Modern Studies in whichever column gives me Wednesday afternoon and Friday morning off"

:P

If pushed i can say i plan to do some volunteering work somewhere and they can only do Wednesday afternoon. Then when asked about it later in the year i can pretend they already took people on or whatever.

Honestly, my hard work, for the most part is done. I plan for a much more relaxed year and if i have to be a bit of an arse to get it i don't really care!

So yeah, now that the worrying about exam results is gone, i'll enjoy going to see Liverpool on Saturday. (Since writing this i have found that Liverpool's Gay Pride is actually taking place then, haha!) Anyway, after that i shall be spending a week with some friends near Manchester and then it will soon be time for Reading and Leeds. T'is drawing ever closer :)

Good times!


Rowan <3

Bryan's Second Stayover

"im comfortable enough for Josh to know i'm gay but i've no intention of telling Bryan." - Me, July 27th 2011.


That kinda changed last night, and without the influence of alcohol.


I'm afraid i'll be called a cop out again as the word "gay" did not feature and "bi" did instead but as it usually is with coming out to someone (in my experience so far) it can be rather difficult, and sometimes awkward but that goes without saying.


Also, with Bryan, i've never been too sure where the ground lay with him so i didn't throw myself right in at the deep end but he's actually perfectly fine with it, or so it seems :D




Anyway, this stayover was certainly better than the 1st. We picked Bryan up in the car and I swear, the first time i seen him i almost melted! His hair is quite some length but even though it's quite messy it really suits him! We picked him up because he was bringing his guitar and amp with him.


Didn't use it much but we played a few Muse excerpts together. I've really got him into Muse now. He's bought his own copy of Origin of Symmetry which also changed an opinion i held in my last post that going to Reading and Leeds with Bryan might not be as exciting as it once seemed.


I'm thinking it will be, he really surprised me with his knowledge of the album. I was grinning like a Cheshire cat.


Also, this time i didn't throw up \o/ (some achievement, eh?)


But once again, i still had no appetite when it came to dinner. My dad cooked some lovely chilli that i barely touched coz i didn't want to be spewing again :/ Bryan loved it however. 
Just like last time, I dunno why i had no appetite again. I felt fine before it and then after it when we walked the dog down to the park, although my asthma came on a bit.


Yeah, i'm probably going to spontaneously combust any second now :P




I tried to coerce Bryan into watching Alien because he hasn't seen it before and he isn't a great horror fan but that wasn't happening so when i found he hadn't watched much Billy Connolly, i stuck a dvd on which we were both howling at. He's probably my favourite comedian, in truth.


The hours, after that, ran away as they usually do and i got the old air mattress out for Bryan and we just sat talking for ages and this is the juicy part of the story.


From the vantage point on my bed, i could see right up Bryan's top (uNF) Oh, the sights you see!
Just thought i'd mention that...


The juicyness began when i told him the whole show about Rose and Susan and he laughed about how i'd become such a "womaniser" in the space of a month. I then told him, of course, that i didn't fancy either and he asked if there really was anyone i was interested in...


Ololol. I just replied, "not really". I couldn't exactly just say, "Yeah, you!" could I!?


He said pretty much the same thing - that he wasn't interested in anyone (and also, was to lazy to be arsed going out with someone, lulz) when i asked him but then we delved into the past and also, previous dealings with alcohol.


By this time, i'd made my mind up that i was going to tell him what happened with Josh and Melly. Dunno why, just decided i would.


His previous experiences with alcohol involved snogging a group of random girls when he was really out of it a few years back. He didn't say who but it wasn't what i really wanted to hear :P


I told him about Susan's party, made the same joke on here that i'd be tempted to go out with her just because her parents are so awesome and then told him about when i got drunk at Nicholas's house.


I came out with it eventually, coz the conversation kept going off in tangents about alcohol making you do strange things etc. (completely true as well) So i was slowly but surely edging my way towards the moment >.<


I said to Bryan that when i was drunk, i told Josh and Melly some things that i probably wouldn't have if i was sober and played the old, "Well, it isn't fair for me to say that to you and not to tell you now", so Bryan's like, "Ok, what is it?" and i just said, "I hope this sits alright with you... i'm bi"


"Really?"


"Yah"


"Ahh, ok man"


I told him i'd been wanting to tell a few close friends recently and i just wasn't sure where the ground lay with him. He said it didn't bother him though but asked when i "decided" and i just said, "Well, i didn't decide, it's just the way i am"
He questioned how long i'd known and i told him a few years now.


He just said it was cool and that he wouldn't be running and telling anyone. Made me quite le pleased but the over-analytical side in me made me question his word choice of "decided"
I was just worried he thought that sexuality was a choice but he didn't mean it like that and agreed that it's just the way people are born.


I thanked him for being understanding and he said it was no big deal coz he knew it was probably not an easy thing to tell someone. "Not that i would know" he joked and that made me want to push further and ask him some more stuff but i decided not to - If there was a moment for Bryan to confide his sexuality it was then, but as he didn't, you've gotta just take that as him not having anything to confide, something that i'm rather confident of at this point :P




Now. You can call me a cop out if you so desire but as i've said before any step forward is a good step and if you want the absolute honest truth, i don't really feel ready to be openly gay to everyone yet. Maybe in a year or so, but not at this moment in time, apart from Josh who probably knows. That's just the way i feel about it right now.


Anyway, last night was a good night, I was able to tell Bryan what i did, had a good laugh with him and evenutally managed to exchange the Reading and Leeds tickets for the money he owed me xD


I'm certainly looking forward to Reading and Leeds more now after having Bryan round. Probably coz everything is finally in place and all we have to do is wait. 25 days!


The only worrying factor is Bryan's paranoia about the migraines he is prone to. If one was to pop up that weekend then there is like 0% chance that he'd be able to go. Loud noises and flashing lights apparently don't do it much good so let's just hope that he can handle Leeds and will be all good for Reading as well.


After months of waiting, we're on the home stretch now, and i'm looking forward to a great weekend with a friend i certainly feel a bit closer to now! :)




Rowan <3




P.S Apparently the film people have sent emails out to people they want to be extras for the film and i didn't get one :(
The dates would actually have suited me and my busy schedule :P
But never mind, i'm not too fussed. The film is called World War Z btw, and they've been looking for extras in various towns and cities in Britain. Meh.