I'm So Fucking Fed Up With School

Grrr, this is an angry post >:(

School has been extremely stressing lately. Honestly, after the exams i expected these 3 weeks before summer to be a slightly more chilling period.

Fuck that.

It's been absolutely non-stop work, homework, tests etc.
It's the languages that are the toughest. Spanish and French follow the same timetable so i am effectively following the same course in two different laguages. And, what's more, they don't consider each other when it comes to tests, my French and Spanish tests (on the last week before summer!) are on the same day, so i will have two lots of things to remember next Monday and Wednesday, not to mention the learning process that is involved there.

I've also come to the conclusion that my Spanish teacher is a bitch. She honestly doesn't care, she just throws the work at us and expects it to be done. I've also grown to hate her voice already and i've only known her for a week.
There are the good little things like Music and Media, i have new teachers in them and they're great but it's hard to focus on the good when there is so much bad.

What else is bad?

The usual i suppose. Steven's shit, other people's shit, everyone's shit.
I am fucking sick of it.

E.g This morning : I went to go sit at the table everyone was sitting at and i didn't sit beside him so he gives me a strange look and i just said "What, do you need to be with me every fucking minute of the day!?"
"Fine then, go sit at the gay side of the table, ya poof"
I know it was just an immature comment but i couldn't be bothered with him at all, i politely gave him the finger and told him to fuck off.

Another thing that's not school related is something else i've been thinking about a lot.
The old gem of coming out.

Next week (11 days) exactly i will be attending a big family reunion and i am really looking forward to it but i can see the questions coming from uncles and perhaps other cousins saying "Where's the girlfriend?" and such comments.
I just don't want to think about stuff like that but i can just see it happening, im 16 now, i should have a girlfriend.... apparently.
So naturally, such questions are expected.
Answers are probably expected by those asking the questions too.

So, i too, like JJ, ask the question "Why can't things be normal?"
I wish i knew, i do kinda but it's nothing new, just people's small-mindedness etc.
Anyway, i said ive been thinking a lot about coming out lately and i have been.
I dunno what it is, maybe being 16 has told me to get a grip, man up and do it, i've thought about it multiple times recently, i almost actually told my parents recently as well.
Something happened in the kitchen, me, mum and dad were having a bit of a laugh then dad says one of his usual ignorant comments, i don't know how it came about but it was something like "Yeh, a gay would do that"
And i was so ready to say "Yeah i know, i am gay"
All that isn't entirely accurate but i hope it's close enough for you to understand the point.

*sigh*

I just can't wait for summer, 7 more school days and i'm away. No more school....

But this is what's troubling me right now :

I'm sick of school.
I'm sick of everyone's bullshit.
And i'm sick of being in the fucking closet to virtually everyone in my life.


Sorry guys, i just needed to get all that off my chest :(


Hugs,
Rowan