I only just realised tomorrow marked the start of March and it surprised me, i seem to be losing track of my days.
But February really went quick.
A lot has happened, on the blogs here and in general.
School has been freakishly busy for one. But on here, things have just flown.
I've found a lot of new people this month, such as JJ, Rhyn, Raron, Matty to name a few and that's been great.
Meeting more people is always nice.
Recieved quite a bunch of new followers too, so i suppose this month has been pretty good on the whole.
Wonder if that will keep up?
Next month, i expect, will just be just as busy, if not even more so.
School work will intensify, as this month sees the beginning of exams.
Music and Media
They are the final exam, but not really the final exam if you get me.
It's like, they count toward the final grade, so they are vitally important but the exam timetable starts properly in April.
But the busyness start this week in fact.
With the month beginning on a Monday i think it feels a lot more fresh, dunno how, just the way i think of it.
So yeh, this week is already set up to be quite busy.
Particularly Thursday as i have my final Bass Guitar exam and then a Careers Evening after school. So i'll tell you all how that goes, as always of course.
But school is always busy, in fact, i've just remembered that i have to sit the 2nd part of my maths test coz i missed school on Thursday last week and i don't have math on Friday.
So there's another thing to add to the schedule.
Along with just general school stuff that is inevitably busy.
A few birthdays coming up this month too, a few family members and a certain someone else :P
Need to decide what to do for them.
I also wanted to mention what happened at dinner tonight.
We all sat down and i asked my mum that if any Stephen Fry books came into the shop she works at, if she could pick them up for me. She said ok and then my brother went, "Oh, the gay one?
I said, "Yes, the gay one" *rolls eyes*
The my mum said, "I don't care"
So i took the opportunity to agree with her, that made me smile.
A hint, perhaps, that my mum isn't bothered about people's sexual preference :)
I always had a feeling that she wasn't and now i'm getting an even stronger feeling.
Oh, another thing i just remembered. (Remembering a lot at the moment :P)
Today me and mum were talking about possible subject choices for next year and i said i'd rather not do Spanish next year coz i'll have the same teacher, be studying french as well and i could possibly be the only boy in the class next year.
She wants me to do spanish but after i mentioned that she said, "Get lonely in class with no boys around?"
Wow.
A complete WTF moment indeed.
She hinting at something?
I don't think she has any idea but maybe i'm wrong.....
So, anyway i hope you all have a good March and an enjoyable one :D
For those of you who don't know who he is, i'll fill you in.
He is a an actor/writer/director/tv star.
He currently hosts the tv show QI, which i must say is absolutely fantastic, it's factual and funny.
Stephen is the host due to his knowledge really, and coz of how much he knows. He's a pretty clever cookie.
He is also gay and i think he's an atheist although i'm not too sure.
Anyhoo, the reason i'm making this post about him is due to a video i came across the other day on It's Getting Better.
It is a video of Stephen Fry himself debating about the teachings of Catholicism.
I found it to be a very interesting video, not just because of what he says but how he says it and expresses himself.
Even if you are Catholic and don't want to watch this video, i suggest you at least give it a go coz it really is very good.
Oh and btw it's about 20 minutes long so set aside some time to watch it!
No school for one thing but two other things happened since my earlier post.
One of these was, my dad came home from work with wireless headphones for me!
They're quite bulky but i really don't care, they took a bit of setting up coz the manual was a little dodgy but i got them and they're great.
Plugs into computer speakers, TV, even my iPod!
Doesn't sound so great for playing a bass or a guitar through them tho, makes them real crackly, i don't think they were designed for that use which disappointed my mum as she thought they would be very useful for that lol.
Another thing, i installed this awesome program called Truecrypt.
It's magnificent!
Just basically a free file encrypter, so i can store anything i want in there and nobody will see it! (Hehe)
That took a while setting up as well but i got it eventually so no need to worry about where i store my movies, photos....chat logs, anything!
It also means i can remove the password from my computer as mum gets suspicious when i put one on.
All i need to do is enter password for Truecrypt.
So, i now have wireless headphones AND a place to keep whichever files i want....
*mischievous grin*
All thats left to get is two USB extension cables for my keyboard and mouse, so i can control everything from my bed, and then i'm sorted.
Lol, nah i'm just kidding. It never showed up in the first place.
DAY OFF!!!
I was all ready to go today tho.
Slept well, got up in plenty of time for a nice shower, bowl of cereal, quick msn and email check, the way i would like every morning to be.
Wrapped up to head out, coz it's been snowing pretty heavy the past couple of days here.
Stood around at the bus stop, grumbling about the cold for at least half an hour and it was just obvious the bus wasn't coming so me and my brother headed back home.
Lucky i had keys coz nobody was in the house but nobody wuold answer their phone either!
Mum's phone was switched off, Dad was working, school was busy....
Didn't know what to do
But then mum came back in the door 20 mins later after having dropped my sister off at school.
Haha.
Me and my brother gave her a real fright, we stood right in the doorway as we could see her coming up the street so she got real freaked out seeing us in the house.
We told her what happened and said that Dad would be coming back from work soon so he can take us to school, but we did enough complaining to make sure that didn't happen :D
So, i've not really done much but it beats being in school.
I practised some bass and guitar pieces earlier, sound pretty good.
This time next week i'll be sitting my first final exam, on bass.
Scary thought.
Anyway just thought i would give you that quick update coz i wanted to mention it :P
As referenced at the end of my last post, today marks the anniversary of something very important to me.
It is only the one year anniversary but it is without a doubt worth a mention....
On this day, one year ago, i was introduced to this lovely community here :)
I discovered the joys of A Rent Boy Named and the lovely bunch of folks who comment on it.
I don't remember exactly how i came across it, i think i was looking for naughty stuff :P
But i seen the website and clicked on it.
I read the first chapter and was immediately engrossed, i read 33 chapters before commenting.
Then somehow i managed to pull myself away from the story to get sleep.
But the next day i was right back at it and i think i finished reading the story in about 3 days. There was only 77 chapters at the time but i did 'em all in a few days.
I thought it was the end but then i seen chapter 78 posted and i've been constantly returning to the site.
But getting to talk to all the people there and reading the story, i think, helped me realise who i was.
It was only about this time last year i accepted myself as gay, or at least different, after denying it for a few years beforehand (bad couple of years on reflection)and i think RB helped contribute to my realisation.
But this post is really to mark the anniversary of my discovery and intorduction to this warm, loving and unjudgemental community.
It was early days a year ago but as time progressed i got talking with more and more people, specifically G, who i'm sure many of us know.
In about June we started trading emails and just simply for him to listen to me made me happy, on top of that he gave me loads of advice and also just generally talked about interesting topics.
So i do owe G a lot of thanks.
Thanks for everything G!
This was happening while Tristan continued to post chapters on RB so it was quite a happy time for me. This led me on to starting my blog in September and i really do owe it all to Tristan and his fantastic story.
If he never started his story, i would never have found it, and i probably would never have known what a blog was.
It just shows how far the story has progressed and has formed this little community of great people.
The great people i'm talking about is you - whoever is reading this post.
Maybe RB did or didn't help you into this community but i know for sure that many of us are all thankful for it now.
(If you don't know of RB you dont know what you're missing, check it out in my blog roll, immediately!)
But everyone here who comments, sends emails and all other things just makes my day....every day.
In fact, i haven't been on my "straight" facebook or msn for ages.
The friends i am making and have made here are taking precedence over my real friends!
And in some ways, i prefer that.
We all try our best to help each other, be supportive and give advice whereas, even your real friends, can be and quite often are judgemental and sometimes really horrible. I don't receive nearly as much of all the support and kindness from my friends as i do from everyone here.
I take it for granted i think, having blogger, RB and you guys.
But this milestone, if you will, has made me appreciate things more.
Without it, i might still be in denial, i certainly wouldn't have a blog and i definetely wouldn't be out to my cousin.
I think i have come quite some way in since last year and hopefully that will have progressed further by this time next year, and continue to keep doing so afterwards.
So i just wanna thanks to all you guys for being here, and all the kind things you say that make my day.
I dunno where i might be without you.
So today was a very drowsy day, i woke up at 4am for some reason....
I have no idea why, i tried to get back to sleep but it just wasn't happening for me so i decided to leave sleeping and i just messed around with the internet on my ipod touch for a few hours.
I should have been all up and ready to get in the shower early but somehow my brother nicks in just before me!
He never has a shower in the morning, always at night.
So i had to wait for him to finish, have a rushed shower, grab a nutri-grain bar and hurry to the bus.
Not a great start to the day but at least i caught the bus.
Things didn't get a whole lot better, i struggled my way through most of my lessons and i swear i fell asleep during 2nd period.
At least chatting with some friends at break livened me up a little. Only a temporary bosst, mind.
Alex offered to let me borrow a Scissor Sisters album that he bought for his mum ages ago so i said that would be cool. Steven called me a faggot :(
So, i continued to amble my way through the day, not even music class woke me up.
Biology kinda did tho somehow, the teacher was in a good mood and it was a generally fun period, although there was still no news of a pass mark for the prelim.
That was last period so i staggered to the bus, got home and fell asleep almost immediately when i did.
I was only awakened about an hour ago by my mum.
Been doing homework since then coz i got loads today.
I was doing French, for this particular piece i had to use the computer for research so i was just doing my work on my bed, something my mum gets really irratable at coz she complains about me not using my desk.
Then it quite turned into an argument "Why aren't you at your desk? Surely, you can't concentrate with the music on"
I tried to explain to her but it just wasn't getting through.
Then she starts interrogating me about why i fell asleep when i came in.
I slept bad i told her, but she seems to think i sit on the computer until about 2 in the morning, which i do not.
I normally have everything in my room off by 11pm at the latest.
But anyway she stormed out the room obviously not buying what i said.
I just want to finish my homework and go to bed. Got that maths test tomorrow so i need to be in tjhe right frame of mind for that.
One bit of good news tho.
JJ handled his bully situation rather well.
It did involve fighting although i had a feeling it would anyway.
He got detention but at least he didn't get hurt and hopefully those cowards won't say anything about JJ or Mike.
I'm proud of JJ i must say.
He handled the situation well. He tried to sort it with words but the bully obviosuly wanted his ass kicked :P
Happy that's been put to bed now :)
Anyway i must scoot and finish my homework, perhaps jump on msn for a little.
Oh and tomorrow marks a very important day for me, but i will post about it tomorrow :D
It turns out i was wrong about the whole situation with D and his brother.
Nothing happened.
So i was right in a way.
It was all just macho bullcrap.
D and his brother both get on the same bus as me but they never said anything on the way to school so i had a feeling nothing was going to happen.
It actually turns out that Steven got a hold of D's number and sent him a text saying he was sorry.
There you go then, situation resolved.
What else happened today?
No biology pass mark received yet, although i still doubt it will be as low as 48%.
Still, i live in hope.
I got my times and dates for my final music perfoming exam.
Bass guitar is first. It is at 11:50am next Thursday.
Guitar is second. It is two weeks after that. 18th March 10:15am.
I was quite surprised that they were this soon.
I thought they would be in along with the rest of the exams in about April/May.
It's not that it's a problem.
I know my bass pieces fairly well. Same ones as i did for the prelim back in October.
Changed the guitar ones about a little tho, but at least for the exam i can use an electric, which i think might have been a downfall in the prelim as i didnt get to use one.
So hammer-ons and pull-offs etc didn't sound right.
I can also use one of my stomp boxes for the final exam if i really want to show off, so i'm pretty sure the exam will go quite well.
I'm confident about it even though its about a month away!
No room for complacency tho!
Got a Media exam coming up next month as well.
It's worth 20% of our final grade and it's on analysing the front page of a tablopid newspaper which i dont find too difficult.
But imagine!
I get full marks in this, then get a similar score to what i got in my prelim and thats an A!!!
Thats seriosuly cool.
And seriously important i do well in it.
The math tests i was talking about last week are Wednesday and Thursday of this week.
I'm not too worried about it tho.
It's only one unit, not all three of them put together like the prelim.
We've been over what may come up in the tests and i'm fairly happy with it.
I didn't think i would have a lot to tell you guys about today but i do.
There's a guy in my Enlgish class who i barely talk to and we were put into the same group today for a task.
At some point i mentioned Muse (as i quite frequently do) and then we end up having this long discussion about Muse!
He's a pretty hardcore fan, not quite my level, lol, but he surprised me big time. He seen Muse way before i did, even way before i had heard of Muse he had heard of them. Back in 2006 he was at a concert!
I sure Hope we're doing the same task again tomorrow.
But it isn't Muse that is occupying my musical mind today.
I'll tell you who is :
Scissor Sisters
Really! They are what i'm listening to at the moment.
Specifically the song Take Your Mama.
Steven and Alex freaked when they seen that on my iPod.
"What the hell Rowan!?"
"Are you serious Rowan!?"
"Yes, deadly serious"
and they laughed at me.
"You know they're gay, right?"
"Yeh, so? That isn't going to stop me listening to a band"
They just gave me a whatever kind of look.
And then on the bus back home Alex jokes, "That can be our next concert, eh? Scissor Sisters!"
"I like them but i dont think i'd be going to one of their concerts" i told him.
He says "Yeh just loads of gay people there looking for some bum"
Suuuuuure.
Every single person at a Scissor Sisters concert just wants to hook up for sex like ALLLLL gay people do, dont they?
Pah.
How i would have loved to say that right to his face, with added sarcasm.
(Then tell him i am gay, punch him in the face and run off :P KO)
I just stared out the window and chose not to answer his remark.
What i usually do nowadays when someone brings up a gay comment, i just don't repsond to it.
Does it raise suspicion?
I don't know.
Nobody has said anything to me about it, so until somebody does i will keep on not responding to such comments.
Wow.
I never thought i would have wrote that much when i started. Things just kept coming.
School does seem to occupy me a lot,
I was definetely occupied today in school.
Not just by subjects and tests but i was thinking of JJ and Mike all day long.
About 2pm (British time) was when they would have got to school, and they'll still be there as i write this.
I hope things went ok....
I hope JJ sorted things out.
Won't know for a few hours yet i suppose, so i wait with anxiety and i leave you with Scissor Sisters.
Cheers,
Rowan
This song is just so awesome in my opinion.
Apparently it's about the lead singer coming out to his mum.
Some lyrics suggest this and some don't.
The lyrics about the wedding does.
And pretty much the whole second verse does.
It's the way i interprete the song anyway and i love it so much.
Here's the lyrics for you to make up your own mind :
When you grow up
Livin' like a good boy oughta
And your mama
Takes a shine to her best son
Something different
All the girls they seem to like you
Cause you're handsome
Like to talk and a whole lot of fun
But now your girl's gone a missin'
And your house has got an empty bed
The folks'll wonder 'bout the wedding
They won't listen to a word you said
[Chorus]
Gonna take your mama out all night
Yeah we'll show her what it's all about
We'll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne
We'll let the good times all roll out
And if the music ain't good, well it's just too bad
We're gonna sing along no matter what
Because the dancers don't mind at the New Orleans
If you tip 'em and they make a cut
Do it
Take your mama out all night
So she'll have no doubt
That we're doing oh the best we can
We're gonna do it
Take your mama out all night
You can stay up late
'cause baby you're a full grown man
It's a struggle
Livin' like a good boy oughta
In the summer
Watchin' all the girls pass by
When your mama
Heard the way that you'd been talking
I tried to tell you
That all she'd wanna do is cry
Now we end up takin' the long way home
Lookin' overdressed wearin' buckets of stale cologne
It's so hard to see streets on a country road
When your glasses in the garbage
And your Continental's just been towed
I'm 19 years old and am a raging homosexual... yes I'm gay :P
This blog is simply where i can throw down thoughts, musings, frustrations... comical genius... (?) But through this blog I also hope to help anyone who is scared, confused, unsure or in need of some place to feel better about themselves :)
