Bryan's Second Stayover

"im comfortable enough for Josh to know i'm gay but i've no intention of telling Bryan." - Me, July 27th 2011.


That kinda changed last night, and without the influence of alcohol.


I'm afraid i'll be called a cop out again as the word "gay" did not feature and "bi" did instead but as it usually is with coming out to someone (in my experience so far) it can be rather difficult, and sometimes awkward but that goes without saying.


Also, with Bryan, i've never been too sure where the ground lay with him so i didn't throw myself right in at the deep end but he's actually perfectly fine with it, or so it seems :D




Anyway, this stayover was certainly better than the 1st. We picked Bryan up in the car and I swear, the first time i seen him i almost melted! His hair is quite some length but even though it's quite messy it really suits him! We picked him up because he was bringing his guitar and amp with him.


Didn't use it much but we played a few Muse excerpts together. I've really got him into Muse now. He's bought his own copy of Origin of Symmetry which also changed an opinion i held in my last post that going to Reading and Leeds with Bryan might not be as exciting as it once seemed.


I'm thinking it will be, he really surprised me with his knowledge of the album. I was grinning like a Cheshire cat.


Also, this time i didn't throw up \o/ (some achievement, eh?)


But once again, i still had no appetite when it came to dinner. My dad cooked some lovely chilli that i barely touched coz i didn't want to be spewing again :/ Bryan loved it however. 
Just like last time, I dunno why i had no appetite again. I felt fine before it and then after it when we walked the dog down to the park, although my asthma came on a bit.


Yeah, i'm probably going to spontaneously combust any second now :P




I tried to coerce Bryan into watching Alien because he hasn't seen it before and he isn't a great horror fan but that wasn't happening so when i found he hadn't watched much Billy Connolly, i stuck a dvd on which we were both howling at. He's probably my favourite comedian, in truth.


The hours, after that, ran away as they usually do and i got the old air mattress out for Bryan and we just sat talking for ages and this is the juicy part of the story.


From the vantage point on my bed, i could see right up Bryan's top (uNF) Oh, the sights you see!
Just thought i'd mention that...


The juicyness began when i told him the whole show about Rose and Susan and he laughed about how i'd become such a "womaniser" in the space of a month. I then told him, of course, that i didn't fancy either and he asked if there really was anyone i was interested in...


Ololol. I just replied, "not really". I couldn't exactly just say, "Yeah, you!" could I!?


He said pretty much the same thing - that he wasn't interested in anyone (and also, was to lazy to be arsed going out with someone, lulz) when i asked him but then we delved into the past and also, previous dealings with alcohol.


By this time, i'd made my mind up that i was going to tell him what happened with Josh and Melly. Dunno why, just decided i would.


His previous experiences with alcohol involved snogging a group of random girls when he was really out of it a few years back. He didn't say who but it wasn't what i really wanted to hear :P


I told him about Susan's party, made the same joke on here that i'd be tempted to go out with her just because her parents are so awesome and then told him about when i got drunk at Nicholas's house.


I came out with it eventually, coz the conversation kept going off in tangents about alcohol making you do strange things etc. (completely true as well) So i was slowly but surely edging my way towards the moment >.<


I said to Bryan that when i was drunk, i told Josh and Melly some things that i probably wouldn't have if i was sober and played the old, "Well, it isn't fair for me to say that to you and not to tell you now", so Bryan's like, "Ok, what is it?" and i just said, "I hope this sits alright with you... i'm bi"


"Really?"


"Yah"


"Ahh, ok man"


I told him i'd been wanting to tell a few close friends recently and i just wasn't sure where the ground lay with him. He said it didn't bother him though but asked when i "decided" and i just said, "Well, i didn't decide, it's just the way i am"
He questioned how long i'd known and i told him a few years now.


He just said it was cool and that he wouldn't be running and telling anyone. Made me quite le pleased but the over-analytical side in me made me question his word choice of "decided"
I was just worried he thought that sexuality was a choice but he didn't mean it like that and agreed that it's just the way people are born.


I thanked him for being understanding and he said it was no big deal coz he knew it was probably not an easy thing to tell someone. "Not that i would know" he joked and that made me want to push further and ask him some more stuff but i decided not to - If there was a moment for Bryan to confide his sexuality it was then, but as he didn't, you've gotta just take that as him not having anything to confide, something that i'm rather confident of at this point :P




Now. You can call me a cop out if you so desire but as i've said before any step forward is a good step and if you want the absolute honest truth, i don't really feel ready to be openly gay to everyone yet. Maybe in a year or so, but not at this moment in time, apart from Josh who probably knows. That's just the way i feel about it right now.


Anyway, last night was a good night, I was able to tell Bryan what i did, had a good laugh with him and evenutally managed to exchange the Reading and Leeds tickets for the money he owed me xD


I'm certainly looking forward to Reading and Leeds more now after having Bryan round. Probably coz everything is finally in place and all we have to do is wait. 25 days!


The only worrying factor is Bryan's paranoia about the migraines he is prone to. If one was to pop up that weekend then there is like 0% chance that he'd be able to go. Loud noises and flashing lights apparently don't do it much good so let's just hope that he can handle Leeds and will be all good for Reading as well.


After months of waiting, we're on the home stretch now, and i'm looking forward to a great weekend with a friend i certainly feel a bit closer to now! :)




Rowan <3




P.S Apparently the film people have sent emails out to people they want to be extras for the film and i didn't get one :(
The dates would actually have suited me and my busy schedule :P
But never mind, i'm not too fussed. The film is called World War Z btw, and they've been looking for extras in various towns and cities in Britain. Meh.