Updates

So it's been a while since my last post (prepare yourself for a long'un) and for good reason.

This summer has been way more eventful and outgoing for myself than i'd have ever imagined.

Honestly, i've spent as much time at my house as i have at other people's. It's strange coz i never usually do a lot over summer. Just sit inside and do whatever but anyway, onto what you're probably expecting to read.

The situation between myself, Susan and Rose for starters.

Rose is sorted and there was quite a bit of skill involved actually, however mean that sounds.

It was over Facebook, as it usually is. She goes, "You're gay for me" and im thinking, "Ah, this could be going somewhere" so i replied with "Nup"

It continued: 

Rose: yep

Me: Nope

Rose: why not :(

Me: Cuz

Rose: ye that makes sence >.<

Me: Yup.

Rose: your boring me

Me: I am boring.

Me: and you're*

Rose: not usually :( you just dont love me anymore

Me: ... (5 minutes later)

‎Rose: :/

Not my proudest moment but it had to be done. Facebook, in person, doesn't matter. Still felt bad but it's probably easier over the internet tbh but now that Rose has realised it ain't happening, i still have to sort things with Susan.

I honestly think the best way of dealing with it is to let it all fade away. If i don't act then surely that gets the hint across that i'm not interested, right?

Instead of going through with some overblown and awkward confrontation, letting things slide away gradually sounds a lot better and that way we can remain friends as well, whereas i'm not sure how the ground will lie with Rose when i see her next.

At least it isn't awkward with Susan at the moment, such as this previous weekend.

It was her birthday and it was a blast!

Just took place at her house, group of friends were invited. Good fun.

There was secret talk amongst us all of getting alcohol somehow coz we knew her parents would be gone for a bit.

Didn't matter in the end coz her parents actually bought a whole crate of Budweiser for the guys and loads of Smirnoff Ice for the ladies!

What legends.

It was another evening of getting drunk without planning to.

I need to learn how to handle alcohol properly coz i threw up again. My theory is that both times i was drinking i hadn't eaten so next time, i will make sure i do :P

Anyway, when a group of teenagers are left alone with alcohol, funny and weird things happen.

Such as me and Nicholas kissing.

This was after a few beers but i remember it vividly and it was nice but by the same token it was very brief and more akin to a little kiss you'd give your mother, if maybe just a little bit more than that. However, it was overshadowed by a full french kiss involving Melly and another girl. This was in the middle of the living room with everyone watching. Guess that's one way to announce your sexuality.

I think Melly made a bit of a boo-boo there coz it's what most people remember from that night. Not that anybody is hating on her coz of it tho which is good.

Anyhoo, Susan's parents were awesome. They actually came back home and this was after most of the drink had been drunk. A bit tactless but they must have been geared up for it. They were both really concerned for me when i was sick but when i half sobered up, i said thanks and sorry. Was weird :P

I'd be tempted to go out with Susan just because her parents are so great... jokes, jokes.

I didn't actually end up going home for a few days after that. Stayed a night at Nicholas' house with a load of people and the day after i went to Josh's. 

Usually that involves a whole load of Rock Band but it was one of the nicest days of the year so far so we went a walk. He lives in the countryside pretty much so some of the scenery was actually quite lovely. There's a great little river round the back of his house as well which he didn't know about.

He's lived there for 4 years and it took me and a bit of sun for him to find that out. Yeah, he's quite a nerd :P

What else has been happening recently? Let's see... 

Oh yeh, I went to an auditioning for a film the other week. 

Ok. Not so much an auditioning but fill in some details and get your picture taken. It's only to be an extra but hey, the pay is rather good. Maybe £100 a day and could be working for 10!

More on that when i find out if i'm in or not. I do hope i find out soon coz it will affect the rest of my plans for summer...

I'm supposed to be going with Josh, and a group of other friends, to his dad's house near Manchester someplace but i can't commit to it until i know if i've been cast or not :P

I'd love to do both but there's a good chance they could clash. If they don't then it will probably take place when school starts back so i wouldn't be able to go... there's also Reading and Leeds at the end of next month to think about.

If only they could have given us the dates and i could have made my mind up before i auditioned!

Next month would be perfect if i could be in the film, go to Josh's, and go to Reading and Leeds. Unlikely but who knows.

Speaking of films, I've become a bit of a movie buff recently. I've applied to a local cinema group (another thing i'm waiting to hear back from) and when i've not been out and about, i've been watching movies.

So many films out there that i've not seen. I have a list that i'm currently working my way through. For example, one of the most recent was There Will Be Blood and the next few include Chinatown, Das Boot and Raging Bull.

Anyway, one reason i've applied to this group is to further my movie knowlegde, as well as talk about movies with people my age, get out the house a little and (although nobody will admit it) put it down on a CV for applying to university.

The atmosphere at the group is also unbelievably camp. I swear at least 2 or 3 of the guys there are gay! 

So i do quite hope i get accepted into that.

I'll finish by talking a little about Reading and Leeds, which is now exactly a month away! I'm excited, but nervous at the same time coz i'm still waiting on the Reading tickets. Got my Leeds but Reading seems to be waiting around. I check my email literally every day just to see if there's been any change :P

Going with Bryan doesn't seem as great as it once did. I haven't seen him once since school let out which is a shame (since he owes me a fair amount of money... kidding) but just because i do quite miss him. But not seeing him has made me realise something. I've seen people like Josh, Rob, Nicholas, Susan et al so many times recently compared to not seeing Bryan at all. It's probably coz he isn't actually in the same friend group in all honesty.

But then there's a reason for that. People in the same friend group are there because they get on well with each other. Obviously Bryan gets on better with other people which i just have to accept. Nothing that can be done about that.

I mean, he is still a friend but isn't quite a friend like Josh, for example. 

Josh lives over 10 miles away and i've seen him more for christ sake! That speaks volumes in my opinion. Plus, im comfortable enough for Josh to know i'm gay but i've no intention of telling Bryan.

Anyway, i am going to try and invite him round over the weekend. Will be nice to spend a bit of time with him again and on the plus side, i now know he didn't end up going bald after all xD

Phew. Think that's just about all i've got in me for now. I'd have posted this in bits over the past few weeks if i had to time but if you've read this far you can probably see that's been a bit difficult to come across!

After about 3 weeks of nothing i felt i owed a longish post anyway so there it is... what you've just slaved your way through reading.

Hope y'all are fine and dandy :)

Rowan <3

Really into this song by the Fab Four at the moment: