Changing Friendships

The last few days have been full of turmoil for me in and amongst my group of "friends"

The main reason for this is the visit of you-know-who (The Pope) to Britain but it soon became a lot more personal than that.

Before i go into detail, the situation currently is that i don't speak with a number of the people i did just over a week ago. I don't sit at the same table anymore that these people do, which unfortunately means not being with the overall majority of decent folk who congregate there.

However, there are another "group" of people (i put group in inverted commas coz it sounds like a clique), from which i am quite friendly with a few individuals and they have supported me over the past couple of days and have taken me under their wing. So things are good :)


It all started on Thursday morning when the Pope arrived in Britain, i posted a message on my Facebook page which said this, "Be ashamed Britain, be very ashamed...

FTP (Fuck the Pope) "

I realise now that i shouldn't have posted that seeing as many of the people on my friend's list are Catholic but how and ever i did post it and now it is gone. At the time the reaction was nothing, but after school that day, it erupted.
Now the group i used to hang out with all know im an atheist and don't say much about it but when the Pope arrived they were all up in my face about it. The school showed his arrival live on tv on one of the big screens in the cafeteria during interval and the place whooped with joy (i died a little inside :P)
...and for the rest of the day, my so-called friends took it in turn to "bless" me in the corridors, in classes, everywhere and i found this rather insulting and humiliating - I mean, would they do that to someone in the school who is Muslim?

Anyway, i ignored it best i could and returned home, pretty upset and that's when it started. People took note of my facebook post and facebook exploded :P

I posted it at first coz a few people had said similar and received no reaction, so i thought i would join in - These are people who posted similar stuff are also Atheists and are now in the "group" i hang about with.

But it didn't go well from me, i received mass condemnation (see what i did there?) from all sides and only a few people stuck up for me.
I realise what i said could cause offence but after the way i was treated at school that day i couldn't have cared less.
The argument on this post continued for a few days (Friday in school was quite tense) and culminated on Saturday evening - coz thats how exciting my weekends are.

Basically, as a summary, i lost 4 friends from my old group and tensions were frayed with a few others (and still are a little) but one of the friends i lost goes by the name of (and you'll be happy to hear this) : Steven

He's gone. Honestly.

My plan has already worked, i just didn't expect it to be that quick! :P (not needing to be nice to Steven after the Muse gig)

So yeh, literally a week after the Muse gig, we are no longer considered friends. Absolutely made up about that, i am.

It wasn't all good though. The other 3 friends were nobody special but i enjoyed sitting at my old table coz there were quite a number of people who i get on with. Alex also goes to that table and luckily he "forgave" me for my facebook post.
Another good friend, Louis, did as well. They were cool about it and i was able to talk to them without any hassle today.

So where does that leave me now?

Well, this "new group" as i put it have always been pretty good friends of mine, i just used to hang out with other people but honestly, i feel these guys are better.

They're more understanding about... stuff in general. I also find it quite strange that most of my old group were Catholics but these folk... quite a few are Atheist and share the same views with me on a number of things.
It was a number of people here who defended me on FB as well, they helped me through and stood up for me when i had nobody.

I can't say enough about them, they honestly are some of the nicest, and funniest people i've ever met (although the humour with them is a little bit more warped haha) But it's all good :D

I feel i can be more open with them, and talk about things that are more relevant to me whereas i couldn't with the other people.


Things have finished pretty well tbh, i shouldn't complain but im just disappointed that i wont see some of the decent guys from my old group of freinds. As i said, only probably Alex and Louis.
I wouldn't attempt to go back to the table as i would just be ridiculed. I've already been told by Steven and co. that i'm "no longer welcome"
Suit them.

I also think it shows how fickle and weak Steven is. Last weekend i was his best friend but now im a "total dick" and i've "been a mess for months now"
Nice to know, but my opinion was never too high of you either, buddy.

Another example of this fickleness is a text i recieved from him not long ago "Watch what you say behind my back, things won't end well for you"
Then about 3 hours later on facebook i get "ill gladly leave it, i just felt angry bout it today, but youve got a new group of friends im happy to let you and them be mates, so basically, sorry i came across strong, i still feel a sorry for u for starting everything would be nice, u dnt even need to mean it"

See? Wtf?

I think a sorry would be a big mistake. It wouldn't just be me making up for what i posted (which i don't think is warranted) but would also put us back on friendly terms.
Screw that.

As i said, i can't complain about my situation right now but it could be better.

However, i must look at the positives. I have been welcomed by a group of at least a dozen people who understand me and my views 10 times better than anyone else ever has, and what's more, it's not like meeting new people, coz i already know them. Just gotta get to know them a bit better now :)

Suppose that starts when a few of us go to see Scott Pilgrim vs the World tomorrow after school, can't wait! (I've not seen it yet so no spoilers!)


Dunno why i never hung out with these epic folk before, suppose i just couldn't draw myself away from my old crowd but now that's changed and i am grateful to my new friends for it.


+ STEVEN IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Rowan <3


P.S I suppose i need to thank the Pope for that one. After all, his visit caused this :P

But that's all im thanking him for -_-

He's No Friend of Mine

I've completely had it with Steven, i no longer care for him or what becomes of him.

Last night was it.

It started by a simple post on a social networking site by El, a friend, who you may or may not remember.

Anyway, his post was something along the lines of that he was making some curry whilst listening to Bloc Party and from there, it just went.
Steven joined the conversation and started having a go at El because of his like of bands such as Slipknot and then loads of people ended up joining in too.
It soon became personal with just me, El and Steven left in a heated conversation.

I can't see exactly what it said coz El removed the post but me and him both agreed and said to Steven that he was one of the most judgemental and narrow-minded people we have ever met.
He claimed he wasn't coz he "hangs" about with a guy from Pakistan.
We said it doesn't excuse his regular racist, sexist, homophobic, judgemental comments and behaviour.
He tried to say i couldn't say he was judgemental coz i called a certain tv program crap and refused to watch it and i replied that that is not at all like the way he is judgemental about actually important issues, not stupid tv programs and then he came out with the paragraph that ended our friendship, or my side of it anyway :

"Im only racist in a non serious way i dnt actually hate other races, but gays are unatural and should all be shot , if you think being gay is wrong then your being narrow minded to correct? Unless u r gay and think its ok to fuck guys"


:-|


Fuck that. That's just not acceptable.
How can he claim he isn't narrow-minded after saying that?
It infuriated me when i read that.

I just replied "Racist in a non serious way what bullshit. Also, i am simply not homophobic, as you clearly are."


But, really, that was the final straw, i no longer regard Steven as a friend.

That puts me in a dilemna, however.

I'm supposed to be going to see Muse with him in September.

Now, if that wasn't arranged, i would completely disregard him in school but i really don't wanna give up seeing Muse.

He leaves school in about 7/8 months. After that, i have no interest staying in contact with him whatsoever.

But till then....


My plan of action now is to put up with him until September 12th (the day after the Muse concert) and then, for all i care he can fuck right off.

It's gonna be difficult tho, there are still 2 months of school that i will see him for (minus study leave) so maybe a month altogether, then summer when i wont see him an awful lot probably. Then there is a few months after summer and he is gone.
In total, probably 5 more months and he is gone.

Also, he hangs around with the same other friends that i do, so i can't just completely blank him and ignore him, even if i wanted to.

Maybe you might be saying that it is wrong and i should completely forget about Steven, regardless of going to see Muse.
Well tbh, i dont think so.

Steven is a tool.

In both the literal sense and the metaphorical sense.

And what are tools for?

To be used.

And i will use him to see Muse, i don't care for him whatsoever but i am going to use him. After all, i think it's something that he pretty much deserves.

It wasn't my intention at first to use him to see Muse as we made these plans and i paid for it when we were still friends, so maybe im not entirely using him but at the end of the day, i am only going to put up with him for the next few months to go and see my favourite band play what will probably be one of their best shows ever.

....

I still can't believe how unlucky i am to have made friends with him tho.
I know how it happened but i wish i knew why, what i had i done to deserve him as a friend?
It's like a punishment.

But it hasn't always been like that.

We became friends at the end of 1st year in high school, his parents were split up and i was confused with myself and didn't know what to think.
But anyway, i felt sorry for him so i suggested he could come and hang out with me and a few people, and he did.

We got on great, hanging around with us bulit his confidence and made him other friends. It's outside of school tho, that had the main influence on him.
He went to live with his dad, who, if you didn't know by now, is exactly like Steven.
Steven gets all his bullshit from his dad and i firmly believe that if he went to live with his mum, he would be an entirely different person.

I'm glad Steven's brother lives with his mum.

But yeh, his dad has been a major influence on him and has changed him, for the worst, over the past few years.
Steven used to be scared, timid, quiet and a pussy.
Steven is now confident, load-mouthed, hot-headed but still a pussy.

That's quite contradictory but it's true, he is still a wuss.
As ive said countless time, he is all talk.

It sometimes happens in friendships tho unfortunately, people change and cant remain friends and this is what has happened here.
I like who Steven used to be but i detest who he is now.


Looking back on it, Steven has used me like a tool.
He joined into my group of friends, went from scared to confident and now comes out saying all this kind of stuff.

I don't like being used, im not gonna take it, so im gonna give him a taste of his own medicine and see how likes that.
Maybe it's not nice or like me to do it, but that's all Steven is to me now, a tool.

A tool that is of no use to me after September.

Plain and simple.


Sorry that this post has been quite unpleasant, but im quite angry, and sorry that i have swore more than usual too.


Cheers,
Rowan

So.....

If you haven't read my previous post, you should read it first :P


Today was, apart from the bass exam, a rather normal school day with the inevitable couple of things worth mentioning.

English was good. With my presentation out the way i could just watch everybody elses. So i did, but a noteworthy presentation came from this boy in my class who i think is really hot.
I stare at him in class sometimes, although i know it is risky.
But this gave me the opportunity to stare at him for a good 3 or so minutes, so i took full advantage of that :P

That was good.


Nothing happened from then until lunch apart from the bass exam of course (but that is in my post before this)

But lunch was quite something.

Me and my group of friends all have this table which we pretty much claim as ours.
There's about 20 of us or something, all pretty good friends, some better than others of course.
But today's discussion involved football.
And why i support Liverpool FC when i don't live near or in Liverpool.

I give them the reasons, just like any fan supports their club, they like the players, the stadium, the fans, the atmosphere et al.
Do they listen to that?

No.

Well....half did and half didn't i suppose.

But then it starts getting personal.

They ask "Why do you support Liverpool if none of your family are from there?"

"Sorry, you're wrong, i do have family in Liverpool"

"Oh, so they're all serial rapists as well?"


.....


Charming.

Insult my family and my team all in one go.

Some "friends" i have, honestly.
They're not all bad, it was only a select few who found that comment funny and continued to progress it further, although i won't go into tht.

Funnily enough, neither Steven or Alex were involved in it...

But yeh, i wasn't in a great mood with some people for the rest of the day.


Also got some rather irritating news in maths, although it doesn't involve the subject itself.

There is a boy in my maths class. We shall call him Freddie.

Freddie is most likely gay. He is also rather irritating, even i find him annoying.
He has never said he is gay but the way he acts, the things he says....believe me, if you seen him you would think so too.

He's not what i would say is hot and to be honest he does get on everyone's nerves.

But i couldn't help but feel sorry for him today.


The boy who sits next to me in maths boasts that he was bullying Freddie at lunch because of his assumed sexuality.
I'm not sure exactly what took place but Freddie was abnormally quiet and was crying in maths.
It was made worse that i was sitting next to the person who caused this.

I don't really like Freddie, i don't know him well either, but at that moment i just wanted to give him a big hug and help him out.
I never even got the chance to speak to him coz he was out of the class as soon as the bell rang.

:-/

I hope he starts feeling better.


So yeh, apart from the bass exam going well, today was not overly jolly.

.....The careers evening you may be wondering.

Quite a bore. Very dry, quite informative but very dry.

Went round loads of tables, meeting people of lots of different jobs but i focused mainly on those to do with music, journalism and languages coz that's what i'm good at.

It was bigger than i thought it would be but nothing exciting so that's really all there is too mention about it.


Phew.

It's been quite a long day.

Didn't know if i was going to post this or not but for you guys, i did :)


Oh, and lastly....i found another Scissor Sisters song i like lmao.

It's called "Laura"

I heard it on the bus today and i recognised it although i couldn't put a name to it until the DJ said but i thought it did sound like Scissor Sisters.

:P

Love you guys,
Rowan