"That's So Straight"

Im thinking of starting to say that more often :P

Or perhaps, on a broader spectrum "That's so sexual orientation", as suggested by Lauren.


It's just... i hear the term "gay" used all the fucking time at school and it annoys the hell out of me. Yes, i do get quite offended by it (obviously i can't say i am tho) but i have read many a comments section where i have seen arguments for both why people are and aren't offended by it - This also coming from people who are gay saying they aren't offended, and some even use the term themselves.

Personally, i don't see why a gay person wouldn't be offended by it. It's a pejorative term, a diminutive, something that is used to describe "bad" or when something has just went wrong ("oh that was totally gay")
When i hear it, i hear it as someone calling homosexuality and gays, bad and wrong.

I don't think it's right.

You hear it used on television too, in the mainstream media, which of course has such an influence over young people. But i seen a comment at some point, somewhere saying this, "People shouldn't use it, it would make as much sense to call something "black"... "That's so black". Doesn't make sense. Today, you are a lot less likely to hear the word "nigger" used on tv, maybe in some movies, but somehow "gay" "fag" etc. have become widespread terms"

I thought this was a good point, when was the last time you heard someone call something "black" (in a negative way like gay is) ?

Never. Coz it doesn't make sense, neither does "gay"

But here's the thing, some people don't use the term in a deregatory manner.


I bring this up coz i was walking to the train after school today with Alex and one of his friends who i kinda get on with and we were all talking about something, can't quite remember what and Alex's friends came out with the ol' "Yeh, totally gay"

Usually, i ignore it but this time i went "Yeh, really sexual orientation" in a very sarcastic way.

And it was Alex who picked up on this (i think he's noted i don't use the term and don't like other people using it)

He said, "When people say that, or well, when i say it, i don't mean it to be offensive"

His friend agreed, and he continued "It's just the way language has evolved you know, it used to mean jolly/ happy but now it means what it does"

Then he expanded "I don't have a problem with homosexuals. I just don't think it's... normal"

I raised my eyebrows.

"Well, it's not. You're cock shouldn't go up that way"

"According to who? According to what?" I enquired, some air of new found bravery had somehow came over me.

"...Life" he answered, strangely.

Damn, i was expecting him to say "bible" then i would have had a field day :P

The conversation just petered out after that and they went back to discussing what they were before.


But i thought it was quite interesting to hear Alex's opinion on the matter, coz i've never been entirely sure. Still not that i would think of coming out to him or anything but it was a new thing learned.

I want to pose the question to you though. Gay/straight/bi/whoever can answer this.

Is it right to call something/someone gay? Are you offended by it?


My answer is yes. Clearly, for some people, they may not associate it with having connotations of homosexuality (some say that over time it has been losing such meaning) but without a doubt the term started with those connotations in mind, and that's what annoys me when i hear someone say it.

Obviously, calling someone a "fag" or a "poof" has meanings tied in with being gay but the word "gay" itself, some would argue does not mean what it once did.

However, i believe if you reinforce the idea that "gay" is the same as saying "stupid" then you support the idea of bigotry and hate yourself.

I'm actually going to make a poll about this coz im really interested to hear what people think, would also like to see what people think in comments too ;)

Milkboys done a post on it as well, the comments section is worth a look - http://blog.milkboys.org/article/thats-so-gay/ (#9, #27 and #28 are probably where i got some of my arguments above from)


And lastly, homophobia is gay.


Rowan <3

Coming Together

After what i thought would be a tricky week it actually turned out to be ok.

I was worried coz im pretty much on friendly terms with everyone right now and i didn't know which way to go; back to my old friends or stick with my new ones.

In the end i opted for the latter. It was a gamble but it seems to have paid off.

I'm not in the "in crowd" yet, if you want to call it such. By that i mean, most people are totally open to, and often do, hug each other. I have no problem with this, i would like to be the same but obviously this group has been very close for like the past 3/4 years so i can't just barge in and demand hugs! :P

It'll take some time before i am part of all that, or perhaps i maybe won't at all, and i've just got to accept that i suppose. They've all been nice enough to take me in, can't be wanting for too much more.



I think it's lovely tho, a real friendship thing, not something that would ever occur with the people i had been hanging about with. Basically any male-to-male contact was seen as "gay" but not here.

And speaking of which, i've a little something to tell that made me really happy. Well not the first bit but afterwards:

On... Wednesday in music there were two guys sitting behind me and they were pretending to give each other massages. This class usually has a load of banter for 5 minutes while the teacher is in class, preparing, before the lesson properly starts.

So she looked up at the guys sitting behind me and said, "You two stop it, it's a bit gay"

I was VERY annoyed that she said this, obviously, but a little surprised coz i know for a fact that she isn't even a Catholic (indeed, atheist) and is also one of the school's more friendly teachers.

Anyhoo, she said it, and i said nothing of course but Rose (who, if you missed my last few posts, is lesbian) shouted out "That's homophobic Miss!" in a sort of way that i couldn't tell if she was serious or not. She said it with a sort of shocked tone but at the same time, as if she was just taking the mick. (Her and the teacher often take the mick with each other) She was drowned out anyway by the rattle and hum of the class, and the laughter at what the teacher had just said.

The day after that, i was sitting with Rose at lunch and she brought the subject up again and i knew this time she had some level of seriousness about her, she said "I still can't believe Miss said that"

I thought why the hell not and said, "I know it was disgraceful, she shouldn't be allowed to get away with stuff like that"

"Catholic school, what you going to do?"

And then a big long conversation evolved about Catholic schools and the likes and it was epic! We agreed on like everything and i said basically whatever was on my mind without getting shot down by someone else.

Guys, it made me so happy :')

Still annoyed with my music teacher but what it lead to... awesome stuff.


So to return to my original point. I've had a quite a long think about it and i think i would be a madman to go and hang about with the people i used to. Sure, most of them are decent but not in the same respect as people like Rose, and others. I would see it as a step down if i were to go back.

This week also made me realise that i will see Alex and Louis et al as well, they're in a few of my classes and Alex gets the same train as me to and from school. Louis hangs around as well at times.

I don't know how, and when i seen some comments saying "can't you hang out with both?" I was thinking "No, not really" but i was wrong, it seems i can and things look to be coming together on the whole friend front now.

Quite pleasing i must say :)


Rowan <3



(posting this coz i'm really loving it right now and also coz it was Lennon's birthday earlier this month, the 9th)



P.S Any good suggestions for Halloween coz i'm totally stuck :P Anything would be great, cheers!

Two More Days...

Can i survive? O_O


Yes, of course i can, it's just gonna be difficult is all. In fact, only tomorrow looks like it will be difficult. Tuesday looks like it should be ok.

If i get any homework tomorrow that is due for Tuesday i'll be ragin'!!!

:P

Tomorrow is gonna be difficult coz i have speaking and writing tests in both Spanish and French. Ugh.

I've spent quite a chunk of my weekend looking over them, learning them off by heart and it's been quite a struggle coz they are the effectively the same essay but in two different laguages.

Suppose it's good to experience some of what is to come now so i don't get too shocked when i return back after summer.

At least i've been able to do some of my revision outside in my garden over the weekend, it's been real sunny here the past couple of days :D

Spent most of my time in the garden either looking at school stuff or playing on the trampoline with my brother and sister.

Haven't spent so much time with them in a while and i've also noticed that my brother tends to use the words "gay" and "fag" an awful lot than i ever thought he did...


So does my sister *cries*

It's my fecking brother that's got her into saying it, she doesn't even know what it means. He is too much of an influence on her. She hears him say it and she thinks it's ok.

E.g today she called me "a gay bastard"

:'(

She is 9 for fucks sake!

It really upset me when she said that. Tbh i was quite devastated, i just froze and shook my head in disbelief.

It isn't easy talking to a 9 year old about stuff like that but i will tell her at some point that it isn't acceptable to say things like that, hope she understands.


So apart from that dampner today, the weekend has been fairly enjoyable just tomorrow that will be a pain in the ass but i'll get through it. Somehow...

The fact that Steven wont be in this week helps. Dunno why he isn't in but i'm not gonna complain. Well maybe i will a little coz that means there will be no iPhone deal this week and probably not for a few weeks in that case.

Ho hum.


Thanks for your comments and experiences with glasses and contact lenses. I still haven't mentioned it to my mum but as i said, over the summer is probably the best time. I can wait for now :)

Also, erm, im thinking of doing some stuff with my blog.

Don't worry, nothing drastic but i'm kinda getting bored looking at the same thing all the time. I'm thinking a new template but same colour perhaps, i'll try not to make the change too... changey. I don't really like change when i get used to something but i think i need to separate the main body of text from the sidebar. Make them different colours or something or else it looks a bit jumbled (it does to me at least :P)

And i am going to add a poll too, ive got an idea in mind so look out for a poll in the coming days. It should be something music orientated.

Anyhoo, that's about all for now. Must do a bit more revision and then get some sleep for my busy day ahead tomorrow.

<3

Hugs,
Rowan


PS Anton, i've added your blog to my links. Guys, if you haven't seen Anton's blog yet (somehow) go check it out! - http://antonshaus.blogspot.com/

Take Hair Steven

Well, erm today was a bit....odd.

Sorta.

I was extremely tired when i woke up, really didn't get much sleep at all but when i got into school i was actually ok strangely enough.

I was getting comments off loads of people today hehe. I'll explain.

At the weekend i got a haircut for the first time in like a few months, long overdue probably but hey ho.
The hairdresser straightened my hair and i really liked it, ive never had my hair straightened before and i thought it was a really nice change.
So on Sunday, my mum straightened it again and showed me what to do so i could give it a go myself and this morning i did just that. (Holiday on Monday btw)
I wet it down a little, dried it and straightened it, although i had to do it quite quickly.

I only got as far as the bus stop before someone commented "Your hair looks grey"
Huh?
"Oh sorry, its the light im standing in, i see you've straightened it"
"....Yeah"

But it wasn't until i got to class did someone make a judgement about it. Louis, in my french class.
"You hair looks different"
"Yeh i straightened it"
"Nice"

That was all but it made me quite happy.

Bet you're wondering what Steven said about me using straightners.....

I posted a pic of my straightened hair on a social network site i use and his reply was "rofl"

I asked him today what that was about and he just said it was nothing and it would just take some time to get used to and told him yeh, he would have to get used to it.

Got various other comments such as "You look like a lesbian...." ?
"Only queers use straightners" (Yeh i knew i would hear tht today)

But on the whole, the comments were actually quite positive. Alan liked it, so did Louis and i think Alex did too so im gonna stick with it for now.


Anyhoo, as for Steven after what he said the other day, the issue wasn't really raised but i did tell him these stupid arguments have got to stop and he just gave me the "Oh i wasnt taking it serious" bullshit but i see right through him.
How can "all gays should be shot" not be taken seriously?

Apart from that he acted just as he normally would around me and yeh, i talked to him back, i told you i can't just ignore him but i still stand strong by my decision. I don't really care about him.

And i asked him about the Muse tickets, which will provide a few answers to your questions in the comments on the last post.

Is it a transportation thing?

Yes, the plane is already booked as is the hotel for the night.

Tickets?

Not yet released and according to Steven probably wont be until about 2 months before the gig.

At the end of the day, i am going with Steven and there isn't much that can change that i'm afraid.

Also, i must agree with you, G, that he may also be holding me back from finding a boyfriend.
Until he goes, i just gotta play it safe, but that doesn't hold me back from building stronger relationships with other boys too. Such as Alan.

I really like him, and i know fore sure i can consider him a friend, i just dunno how strongly he considers me as a friend.
He's definetely not one of the loudest people around, and he is what people would call a "worrier" but i suppose we all are in some ways.
Also, i have never heard the word "gay" escape his mouth or anything like that. Just another reason why i think he possibly could be gay.
He's just really pleasant tho i think, really nice to be around, a lot more so than Steven, it just a shame he isnt in more of my classes, only English.

I agree with what most of you guys say as well, i can't go on being friends with Steven and i don't plan to. I glad that i am not alone in that decision.
And i got some news that i may also not be alone in that decision in school too. I was talking to Louis about the argument on Friday and i was just saying that Steven is really getting on my nerves at the moment and he agreed with me!
He said "Yeh i know what you mean, he can be a great tit at times"

Took me by surprise i have to say and then i joked that i have to stay "friendly" with Steven until the Muse concert, (even though that is the truth) and he laughed at that too.

Jeez, mabye im not alone in thinking that Steven is a twat.

I already know what im gonna say to him come Christmas, simply, "Take care" and that will be it.
I won't even mean it but it will probably be one of my best Christmas presents ever.
That's right, i have my biggest Christmas planned out already in May. That is, Steven leaving school and oh, how sweet it will be.

I think im gonna create "Days Until Steven Leaves" coutndown on my ipod app "Days Until"

:P


Cheers guys,
Rowan

He's No Friend of Mine

I've completely had it with Steven, i no longer care for him or what becomes of him.

Last night was it.

It started by a simple post on a social networking site by El, a friend, who you may or may not remember.

Anyway, his post was something along the lines of that he was making some curry whilst listening to Bloc Party and from there, it just went.
Steven joined the conversation and started having a go at El because of his like of bands such as Slipknot and then loads of people ended up joining in too.
It soon became personal with just me, El and Steven left in a heated conversation.

I can't see exactly what it said coz El removed the post but me and him both agreed and said to Steven that he was one of the most judgemental and narrow-minded people we have ever met.
He claimed he wasn't coz he "hangs" about with a guy from Pakistan.
We said it doesn't excuse his regular racist, sexist, homophobic, judgemental comments and behaviour.
He tried to say i couldn't say he was judgemental coz i called a certain tv program crap and refused to watch it and i replied that that is not at all like the way he is judgemental about actually important issues, not stupid tv programs and then he came out with the paragraph that ended our friendship, or my side of it anyway :

"Im only racist in a non serious way i dnt actually hate other races, but gays are unatural and should all be shot , if you think being gay is wrong then your being narrow minded to correct? Unless u r gay and think its ok to fuck guys"


:-|


Fuck that. That's just not acceptable.
How can he claim he isn't narrow-minded after saying that?
It infuriated me when i read that.

I just replied "Racist in a non serious way what bullshit. Also, i am simply not homophobic, as you clearly are."


But, really, that was the final straw, i no longer regard Steven as a friend.

That puts me in a dilemna, however.

I'm supposed to be going to see Muse with him in September.

Now, if that wasn't arranged, i would completely disregard him in school but i really don't wanna give up seeing Muse.

He leaves school in about 7/8 months. After that, i have no interest staying in contact with him whatsoever.

But till then....


My plan of action now is to put up with him until September 12th (the day after the Muse concert) and then, for all i care he can fuck right off.

It's gonna be difficult tho, there are still 2 months of school that i will see him for (minus study leave) so maybe a month altogether, then summer when i wont see him an awful lot probably. Then there is a few months after summer and he is gone.
In total, probably 5 more months and he is gone.

Also, he hangs around with the same other friends that i do, so i can't just completely blank him and ignore him, even if i wanted to.

Maybe you might be saying that it is wrong and i should completely forget about Steven, regardless of going to see Muse.
Well tbh, i dont think so.

Steven is a tool.

In both the literal sense and the metaphorical sense.

And what are tools for?

To be used.

And i will use him to see Muse, i don't care for him whatsoever but i am going to use him. After all, i think it's something that he pretty much deserves.

It wasn't my intention at first to use him to see Muse as we made these plans and i paid for it when we were still friends, so maybe im not entirely using him but at the end of the day, i am only going to put up with him for the next few months to go and see my favourite band play what will probably be one of their best shows ever.

....

I still can't believe how unlucky i am to have made friends with him tho.
I know how it happened but i wish i knew why, what i had i done to deserve him as a friend?
It's like a punishment.

But it hasn't always been like that.

We became friends at the end of 1st year in high school, his parents were split up and i was confused with myself and didn't know what to think.
But anyway, i felt sorry for him so i suggested he could come and hang out with me and a few people, and he did.

We got on great, hanging around with us bulit his confidence and made him other friends. It's outside of school tho, that had the main influence on him.
He went to live with his dad, who, if you didn't know by now, is exactly like Steven.
Steven gets all his bullshit from his dad and i firmly believe that if he went to live with his mum, he would be an entirely different person.

I'm glad Steven's brother lives with his mum.

But yeh, his dad has been a major influence on him and has changed him, for the worst, over the past few years.
Steven used to be scared, timid, quiet and a pussy.
Steven is now confident, load-mouthed, hot-headed but still a pussy.

That's quite contradictory but it's true, he is still a wuss.
As ive said countless time, he is all talk.

It sometimes happens in friendships tho unfortunately, people change and cant remain friends and this is what has happened here.
I like who Steven used to be but i detest who he is now.


Looking back on it, Steven has used me like a tool.
He joined into my group of friends, went from scared to confident and now comes out saying all this kind of stuff.

I don't like being used, im not gonna take it, so im gonna give him a taste of his own medicine and see how likes that.
Maybe it's not nice or like me to do it, but that's all Steven is to me now, a tool.

A tool that is of no use to me after September.

Plain and simple.


Sorry that this post has been quite unpleasant, but im quite angry, and sorry that i have swore more than usual too.


Cheers,
Rowan

The Homophobic Music Exam and Other Daily Doings

Intrigued?

:P

It wasn't intentionally so, but i found it rather strange.

Before i talk about the "homophobic" part of the test, i'll let you know that it went fine.
There were some tough parts, easier parts, but overall a fair exam.
I didn't feel nervous up until around the hour before it started but once i sat at my desk (single file, in one line) i was ok.

Waiting is the worst.

So, i should talk about what i discovered in the paper.
In one part of the paper, there was a section where we had to tick 3 columns, labelled A-G.

(See where this is going? :P)

My answers, in alphabetical order were A-F-G
But the order i wrote them in was F-A-G

I only realised after i ticked it and i had to do a double-take lol.
To be honest, i found it rather humourous and who knows, they might not even be the correct answers, i doubt the examiners are anti-gay.


Wasn't the only homophobic thing that passed me today.
Yep, Steven....

I'm getting quite fed up with him.
Not just his homophobic nature but his attitude to racism and other general things too. If he keeps it up, he wont get far in life.
At this moment in time, i am actually quite looking forward to seeing him leave after Christmas.
Harsh?
I dunno.

But today he was on Alan's back (behind his back too) and i stood up for Alan.
Alan owed me some money from something a few days ago and he gave me 10p extra by mistake, to which i commented on to Steven.

I said "Oh there you go, Alan gave me ten extra pence...."

Steve "Coz he's gay"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeh, he is have you not seen the way he sits and talks"
(Which by the way is no different to anyone else)

"No, i haven't....how can you just assume he is?"

"Just....how he is, he's a big bummer and you're standing up for him"

"Listen, im just saying that you can't go around assuming someone might be gay when you have no idea if they are or not. Just coz he doesn't talk about girls doesn't mean anything"

"Look at you standing up for the gays"

By this point i got the feeling that things were heading into deep and dark territories so i left it there.

He called me a poof and i told him to fuck off.

I was extremely pissed off with Steven but happy with myself that i was able to stand up for Alan. It would seem now, that i am not the only one who has suspicions that he might be gay. However, as i said, he acts no differently to anyone else, doesn't sit differently or anything. I just have a feeling about him, but also, i, unlike Steven, don't take the assumption that he is gay.
After all, assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups....

But at least after this coming together between me and Steven i received some good news in the form of my other maths result.
It wasn't as impressive as my previous 86% but still respectable, for my standards anyway.

It was a non-calculator paper and i got 18/30, which is 60%
On the two calculator papers my combined score was 43/50, which is 86%

So overall that works out as 61/80 and 76%

Category - A

One word.

Chuffed.

In the past 8 weeks i have gone from 40% to 76%.
These extra classes have had their comeuppence without a doubt, if only my maths teacher could see me now, sitting on an A a few weeks before the final exam.
She would hit the roof.
I hope i see her again before the exam comes around, apparently she's ill at the moment.
Who knows, she might have got wind of my mark and tht made her violently sick lol.


Aah, it's been yet another long and strenuous day and i just wanna retire to my bed now, fairly happy, might i add.


Cheers guys,
Rowan


In a good mood so tht means a Queen song is getting posted.
I know i say this a lot, but this is one of my favourite Queen songs. It isn't that well known i don't think but it has to at least be in my top 3.

Feel like a millionaire!

The Hillsborough Disaster....Silence

I have a feeling many of you wont know of this tragedy that took place on 15th April 1989. Particulalry those outside of Britain.

The tragedy was the death of 96 Liverpool FC fans who died due to a crushing incident at a football match in Sheffield, England.

Most of this is down to the mis-management of the police present on the day.

I know i wasn't born at the time but the whole thing really grabs me.
How it happened, the aftermath, the support of the family, friends and the football club, it always gets me going.

Every year on 15th April a memorial service is held at Anfield, the ground of Liverpool FC, to remember those unfortunate people.
Today's service will be shown tonight at 7pm on LFC TV in Britain in case anybody is interested.
I will be watching it as i couldn't attend although i have made the promise to myself that i will go one day.
(I don't live near the ground btw)

The service is always held at 3pm because that's the time the game started 21 years ago today.
At 3.06pm a minute of silence is held as that is the time the game was abandoned at.
And then You'll Never Walk Alone is sung by the attending fans of which there usually is a good number.

So today at 3.06pm i held my own silence in my room, for a minute and i'm not ashamed to admit i cried a little afterwards, listening to You'll Never Walk Alone.
I find it strange how something that took place before i was even born can arouse such deep feelings in me but it just does.

This post, i planned to talk more about the incident itself and how (badly) the situation was handled by the police but i'm not really feeling upto it.
Most of what i have to say is covered on the Wikipedia page anyway so if you are interested or want to find out more then here's the page for you -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillsborough_Disaster


And speaking of silence, now is a good time to remind you all of tomorrow.
16th April. Day of Silence for homophobic bullying.
I have come to the realisation that i will end up having to talk at some point tomorrow probably but i will try my best to stay as quiet as possible.
Again, i encourage whoever is reading this to try and do the same if you can. I know it can be difficult, i had trouble staying silent for 1 minute today :P


Love you guys,
Rowan


I know i posted You'll Never Walk Alone not long ago but i need to do so again today. I can't not post it.....




Remembering the 96. You'll Never Walk Alone.

Steven's House

I always enjoy going to my friend Steven's house, it's laugh after laugh and great fun excluding all the racism and homophobia etc.

And i was off to stay again yesterday, in celebration of his birthday.
Alex came too and Steven's brother was around as well.
We didn't go to his house straight away, he picked me up at about 11am, then Alex, then off to this big fun centre place with loads of different places inside. (forgot it's name =P)

We played crazy golf firstly, which was awesome, i played not bad, neither did Steven, Alex played a stinker but Steven's dad won in the end.
Just loads of banter flying around though so the final score wasn't all that important but about halfway through, an incident occured. This group of 2 or 3 young children were running around and getting in the way, so Steven's dad told them to stop or else he would "wrap the gold club around their head"

Smooth.


Coz near the end of our round, their parents approached us and had a go at Steven's dad. He argued that they shouldn't have been unsupervised in the first place, but he was the one that threatened them at the end of the day.
It was quite a serious although funny thing to watch but ultimately, they were both in the wrong.

(Anyway, i've learnt from that that Steven's dad doesn't take any shit, you don't wanna mess with him.)


With that all behind us, we headed for Burger King and then went Ten-Pin Bowling.


Now, i never considered myself to be any good at it, and i was secretly not looking forward to it (would happily have gone straight home) but i surprised myself!
And i would have won, if it weren't for Steven's brother using the barriers to stop his ball rolling off =P

I enjoyed it again and found i was actually not bad at it (got 3 strikes!) the rest played averagely (haha) apart from Alex who again played awful lol.

To add to things, the parents and their children at the crazy golf showed up in the lane next us (call it a coincidence) but they never said anything.

:S


They clearly weren't bothered about earlier and were just trying to make something big out of nothing at all.


So, after this we headed to Steven's house and listened to Muse in the car, us three looking like loonies bouncing around in the back lol.


When we got there, the Arsenal game was put on.


Wasn't too exciting.
Me and Alex cheered when West Ham scored just to piss off Steven and his dad but Arsenal went onto win 2-1.


Not much happened after that until later but it marked the start of Steven and his dad sharing their discrimination when they felt necessary.
And they clearly felt very necessary.

Now i admit, while they can be funny, what they said kinda got to me but i just sorta pretended to laugh and didn't say anything to add to it.

The house seems works on a "whatever you want to say, say it....as long as it's rude and insulting" policy.

I didn't really chip in.

Honestly.



But some of the things said were a bit much.
I know to expect that in Steven's house but it still annoys me, it's the only downside really.

Things like :

Muslims offering their sons to Hamas as suicide bombers cause they found that there sons were gay.

(Double whammy there)

This was said by Steven in front of his dad as well. He doesn't care what you say, there are no rules there which is cool but it means things like that are said.

Unfortunately, it didn't get much better.

After his dad went to bed the porn channel was put on.


*Yawn*


Then more gay jokes started - mostly from Steven.


*Yawn*


The matresses were placed in the living room for the three of us, so we had the big tv and wouldn't disturb anyone else.

It was getting late and the porn and gay jokes weren't entertaining me at all so i went to sleep, leaving them to say what they liked.


But this is where the worrying part happened.


I woke up at some point and the tv was still on and they were still talking, so i just pretended to be asleep, but they were talking about me....rather, talking about my sexual preferences.

How nice of them, behind my back.

I think i latched onto the end of the conversation but here it is anyway.

It was Alex who said, "Did you notice something about Rowan?"

Steven : "Huh, what?"

Alex : "Well, he fell asleep when we were watching porn."

*Silence*

Alex : "You would have thought he'd be interested in it, no?"

Steven : "I dunno, maybe he was just tired"

Alex : "Well, to tell you the truth.....i've wondered for a while if maybe he was.....gay"

*I'm petrified at this point*

Steven : "Nah, he's not one of them, he's not a bum-bandit"

*Ha*

Alex : "I'm not sure"

Steven : "He better not be"


And with tht it ended, although we did talk together later about school and stuff....nothing was mentioned but i wasn't getting much sleep after that.

I just felt like yelling at Steven.
Not so much at Alex coz i don't know where he stands on it, but it's a dead-cert with Steven. He wouldn't be happy if he knew.
Alex is one of the only two people i've ever thought about confiding in it with, but now i'm having second thoughts.

Either way, i'm not looking forward to seeing them tomorrow.....in school.


Which brings me nicely to school actually.


This holiday has just flown by, wasn't the most enjoyable holiday, was nice to relax but tomorrow marks the start of the so-called "Term of hell"

Tests, Prelims, Studying, Exam Preparation.

And the rest.


It's gonna be tough, and as i've said previously, my posts may be limited in the next few months. Although i've done okay so far i don't know how bad things might get.

I have my Spanish speaking exam on the same day as the Wolfmother concert in a few weeks. And the prelims start at the end of this month. The final exams start at the end of April, are spread throughout May and finish in early June.


So i fully expect to be bombarded with work.


Wow. It's come quick.


That's really all i've got to say for now,
I've got to go and prepare for tomorrow, oh joy, i'll probably post again a couple of times this week and i'll let you all know if/when it's getting tough to do so.

Cheers,
Rowan

Question Time/Today's events

I can say right now, that i have never had a great deal of interest in politics
I did however watch Question Time last night on the BBC, obviously because BNP Leader, (Dick) Nick Griffin was on it.


(For those who don't know, BNP is this horrible, far right party, who have loads of stupid policies about immigration, race, homosexuality etc etc.)


So i watched it, and i came to the conclusion (probably like most) that he is an utter loony.


I found quite a lot of the stuff boring to be honest, but it was clear to see that Nick Griffin was losing the plot. Pretending he didn't say things in which he had been quoted, seemingly changing his party's stance as he went along, lol, he made a right dick of himself.


At the end it came to this thing about homosexuality, i can't remember much, but he was well against it and it was nice to see the audience was against him, as was i of course.
He said he doesn't think it should be taught in schools.....is it at this current moment? I don't remember receiving this lesson so why is he making a big thing about it?


I personally, can't give my own answer on that coz i really don't care if it is taught in schools or not, it wouldn't affect me anyway.


But at the end of the day Nick Griffin made an arse of himself and that is all that matters. HAHA

* * *

Erm, not much really happened today, although i was discussing Question Time with my good friend Steven (lol, two 15 year olds discussing politics, quite sad.)

He's a bit strange at times, he's funny and a loyal friend but he seems to hate loads of ethnic minorities. In a political world he would be Nick Griffin. I think he is influenced by his dad a lot as well, who is also really funny but also hates lots of ethnic minorities, so i think it has rubbed off on Steven quite a bit.

Anyhoo, we were discussing Question Time and he said he thought Nick Griffin made some good points.....GTFO MATE! He was an arse!

I think he says he likes BNP just for humorous effect but he can sometimes be qute serious about it.

He said, "Why do you not like BNP? They want all blacks out of Britain!"

"How is that a good thing? What's wrong with blacks?"

".............they're black"

"What's that for? Blacks have never done anything to harm you"

"Fine then, he wants all gays out"

"Steven, i don't know why you hate so many different groups of people, but you've got to learn to accept people more"

"The hell i do"

Again, ignorance.....so i didn't go any further with it.

I like Steven, i really do, as i said, he's funny and loyal and just a really good friend but at times he comes out with this pointless load of shit leaving me wondering why i'm friends with him. I dunno.

That's all for now, but i just wanted to mention this new story that was linked on the RB site

http://twinergyandtheboysofclearlake.wordpress.com/


I read the first chapter and will probably read on, so there's the link for anyone interested. I will say tho, that you may have to set aside some time to read a chapter coz they are fairly long, longer than RB's chapters anyway.


Cheers,
Rowan

A Place to Call My Own

this post is basically why i made a blogger account in the first place :

1) where i live is very homophobic - i love all my friends but sometimes the comments they make about gays, bi's, lesbians etc. really gets on my nerves (of course, i'm not outed to anyone) So i created this so i can have somewhere to get away from all that

2) i love talking to other people - i love meeting and chatting to people and i want to get to know some more gay/bi people, as i know hardly any in my school, so feel free to add me - lets-start-over@hotmail.com ;)

i thought this post might be longer than it was but apparently not, above are my two main reasons for making a blogger account + my email addy, so don't hesitate if you wanna chat :D

cheers,
Rowan