Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010!

Happy New Decade everyone!

2009 is done and dusted and i have to say it was probably one of the best years i've had so far.
Of course, every year has it ups and downs and it's difficult to say at the end, "Oh that was a really good/crap year"
So i suppose mine was a bit of both.

Over the past 12 months i've done many eventful things - Seen 3 different bands in concert (The Killers, Muse, Kasabian) went on a school trip to Valencia in April, went to see a Liverpool FC match a Anfield (which i had been dreaming of for many years) and lots of other little things add to that list.

Also, i entered Blogland! Hurrah!

Not many eventful bad things have happened, but there have been things that have happened.
This time last year and for the next couple of months, i wasn't doing all that well. I found myself confused, angry and depressed.
This was the pretty much the end of me coming to terms with the fact that i wasn't "normal"...

I wasn't straight.



About a year ago, this blogging community would have helped me a lot but i was still in self-denial at this point. I had been for the past year or so prevous to that.

I tried many times and many things to convince myself i was straight, many strange and awful things that now, perhaps, i do regret.

But that part of me is gone.
2009 was the start of something new, realising and coming to terms with who i really was.
It was only in about March/April did i fully let it all go.
But for the couple of years before 2009 ('06,'07,'08) i can see how much of a different person i was.
I was, tbh, a stupid, arrogant brat.

I now like to think i am no longer that, and in the past year i have matured more and have become a different and better person.

After March/April i was still scared tho.
I didn't know who to talk to, i didn't know where to turn.
I was lost.

And this continued throughout the summer, the only escape for me seemed to be the comment thread on "A Rent-Boy Named..." where everybody was (and still are) so kind and open-minded.
I started getting and replying emails from a fellow reader who i had become friendly with and found that it really helped.
I finally had someone to talk to.

And then one day in about August/Septmeber, i came across Blogger.
I don't fully remember how, it may have been through the RB site, i don't remember.
But the first blog i started reading was The Everyday Life and Thoughts of a Fabulous Teen.

I found how i could really relate to that.

So i wondered if maybe i could do it.
Eventually i did, in about late September, i started this blog.

It's wonderful.

It's where i can be myself and talk to other understanding and open-minded people.
It's really the only place i know of that i can be myself right now.

So really, although he hasn't directly helped me, i would like the thank the author of that first blog, James. Coz his blog encouraged me to start blogging.
And thanks to Blogland and my followers for welcoming me in, you've all made me feel really accepted and for that, i thank you.

2010 though, being the start of a new decade made me realise how much bigger and crazier things are going to get...and the end of this decade i will be 25!
That is weird.
But before i get there, i know how important and how defining this decade will possibly be.
This decade, i will be sitting important exams (as well as this year, in fact.) I will be getting a job, possibly a career. Friends will more than likely come and go. And perhaps most importantly, it will be the decade in which i finally take the step out of this small and dark closet and come out myself to my friends and family.

I certainly do not want to keep prolonging it, no matter what the outcome.

Haha, i never planned a review of the year but there it is anyway =P

So here's to 2010 - the start of a new decade, and a new beginning.



I listened to this on the stroke of midnight, the start of 2010. It really took my breath away and made me realise how important these next few years will be. I would recommend listening to it coz it's such a powerful, emotional and great song.

Cheers,
Rowan