I knew it would be in all honesty, was never really worried.
Kicked off at 9am and i was in the same seat in the same class as i was for the english exam as the list is in alphabetical order, so it looks like i will be there for most of my exams (so will the cute guy a desk away from me)
:D
But anyway, the reading paper was the first thing that we had to do, and it was pretty much the easiest paper i have ever sat. I must say, i think i will be disappointed if i don't get full marks!
Honestly, extremely easy.
The listening, after a 15 minute break, was a little more challenging witha few tough questions but on the whole it went good too.
Lastly, the writing, just gotta write an 120-150 word essay for a "job application" (a script we have been learning for several months now) so again, very easy, probably the easiest and most relaxed exam i will ever sit....
Out invigilator was a cow tho! Everyone in our classroom finished the papers early and she could clearly see we had but didn't let us leave early when all other classes in the corridor were allowed to do so.
Almost made me late for the train back home, but i made it in time and a group of friends including Louis and Alex were waiting for me.
I didn't even head straight back home after the train tho, weather was good so we just kinda walked around a bit talking and having a laugh. Good stuff.
When i did eventually get home, mum told me she finally got me some blank cd's!
I have a lot of stuff i need to clear off my computer and i have been waiting ages to get it onto a cd.
(No, not *that* stuff, i know what you're thinking :P)
So overall, a good day, didn't expect anything less but now i have maths to look forward to on Friday (joy!) and that is something i will be stressing about.
Let's just hope it goes smoothly enough.
Cheers guys,
Rowan
Very cheesy new Muse song and i'm still undecided over it, it is far from their best work. From 1:11 it is very Queen inspired, i can't place a name on which song although i was thinking like a faster version of Radio Ga Ga or I Want to Break Free, any other suggestions?
International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia.
(There's no "T" in IDAHO....)
:P
Anyhoo, yeh, i was looking through an app on my ipod called iFacts which just lists important events/births/deaths on each day and i found out today is not one, but two events significant in in the LGBT community.
Firstly, (and i've never heard of it until today) it is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. Which, i have a feeling is tied in with two important events that have taken place over the past eighteen years it will be now.
That is, in 1992 the World Health Organisation removed homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses. 18 years on from that, i struggle to see how it was even there in the first place.
I do happen to know that Britain and the USA removed it off their own lists back in the 60's i think but don't quote me.
Also, in 2004, Massachusetts becomes the first US states to legalise same sex marriage (Go Massachusetts!)
Just doing a bit of research to see how many states it is legal in now....
Jeez i thought there would be more than that - there are only 6 states it is legal in (Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, and only last month on March 1st was it made legal in Washington DC)
This map explains it better -
All shades of read is where it isn't permitted because of constitution or something like that.
Blue is permitted.
Grey is no prohibition or recognisition
And i'm not sure what multi-coloured ones are.
Maybe it means there's debate or something coz i know California used to allow same-sex marriage but then Arnie stepped in or something, not too sure.
But yes, i think IDAHO takes place on 17th May for those two reasons, probably for the WHO's removal of homosexuality from their list more than Massachusetts legalising same-sex marriage.
Being called IDAHO, i would have thought it might be legal in the state of the same name, unfortunately not it appears as according to the map.
I'm sure gradually, in time, more states will legalise it although it could be a long process and even though i don't live in the States i still find it quite an interesting topic. Only days such as this can help that process so here's to IDAHO!
Have a good day everyone.
Hugs,
Rowan
lol, there's no video in english but you still get the song :D
P.S I've came across a new blogger in the past day or so, or rather, he came across me and i then found his blog.
His name is Gabriel/Gabe/Gabey.... :D
He is 15 and lives in the States, so why not go check out his blog, i'm sure he'd love it.
Gabe's Journal - http://gabeys.blogspot.com/
I was gonna post this yessterday but i just wanted to relax after it all, it was quite a tiring ordeal.
I woke up feeling ok, did an hour or two of revision coz the exam didn't start until 1pm, but as the hours wound down i grew more steadily nervous. After all, it was my first proper, big exam in a way. (Music was only 45 minutes)
My dad gave me a lift into school and wished me good luck, i went in and met everyone at our usual table in the cafeteria.
Get this, Alan's birthday was yesterday, the day of the exam!
Unlucky.
My nerves were really building by about 30 mins before so i opened some fruit pastilles and chewed away and then loads were asking for some lol.
I shared and gave one to a few people (two for Alan :P)
Then we were told to make our way to the english rooms (where all exams are to be held) Everyone just kinda fell silent and entered their designated rooms.
The first part was a close reading, basically, you study a passage of an article taken from somewhere and answer questions on it.
Our passage was about an ancient Chinese emperor named Qin, not the most fascinating topic but i at least managed to answer all the questions in time. It was fair, some parts were tough and some were easy.
The close reading is regarded as easy coz it settles you in for what is in store after the 15 minute break, the essays.
During the break i just chewed on some more pastilles and went back into the room, feeeling neither confident nor nervous this time.
I had three texts prepared to write an essay on but you only write two in the exam, the third is a back-up.
The questions you need to base the essay on are all unseen so i was hoping for some luck with the questions and i got them. Nearly all questions suited Sailmaker (drama) and Jekyll and Hyde (prose) so i didn't need to worry about writing on To a Mouse (poetry)
I started with Sailmaker and got tht finished in about 40 minutes, leaving me a full 50 for Jekyll and Hyde, so i took it a bit slower coz i was getting tired and my right arm was killing me!
Again, i finished both essays so i was quite happy with that. Just need to hope that what i wrote made sense, it did at the time but i can't really say whether i feel confident or not about the results. I have no idea, just need to wait until August 5th....
But on the whole, i think it went well tho. I answered everything i needed to and at the end of the day, you can't really do much more than that, i gave it my best and im having a day off today.
Next week i have french on Tuesday and maths on Friday. French is something you can't (and i dont really need to) study for. So this next week i will be focusing hard on maths, which is a bit of a strange one to study for too.
2 exams down, 6 to go....
Cheers,
Rowan
P.S I've never been a big fan of Red Hot Chilli Peppers but my friend, Louis, showed me this song called Readymade and i thought it was pretty good so there's the vid below.
Before i go onto what this post is about, i just want to say some stuff regarding the last post.
Firstly, although things got a little confusing and a little heated, your comments all made me feel better, for the most part.
I was quite upset when i wrote that post last night, but when i woke up, i was calmed and your comments helped a lot. So thanks guys.
Also, lets not start fighting please or accusing people of anything. I don't believe anybody wants JJ's blog to remain specifically for their own personal greed. If that's the case then it's very sad but i don't believe it is the case.
I deleted a few comments, or rejected them coz i thought they might provoke some sort of argument and that is definetely not needed right now, so i hope those of you whose comments i did remove aren't too annoyed with me and understand.
----------------------
Anyhoo, this post.
I am now officially on what is known in my school as study leave and it is basically what is says - leaving school to study. All the senior years do it and it lasts about 4 weeks. I'm not back in school until June 7th.
But don't get me wrong, this isn't a holiday and i don't plan for it to be. I have to be studying....my english exam is on Thursday.
*queue ominous music*
So, i thought now would be a good a time as any to let you all see my exam timetable just for anyone who is interested and also if i'm not able to post for a while, you know what i'm getting upto. I think i should still have enough time to post tho.
I'll call next week, week 1 coz that's when things really get going.
Week 1
Tuesday 18th May, French : 9am - Noon (consists of three different papers)
Friday 21st May, Maths : 1pm - 3:35pm (consists of two different papers)
Week 2 (without doubt, the hardest week)
Tuesday 25th May, Modern Studies : 9am - 11am (whole load of different stuff)
Wednesday 26th May, Media Studies : 1pm - 2:30pm (two separate essays)
Thursday 27th May, Biology : 9am - 11am (three separate sections)
*shivers*
Week 3
Friday 4th June, Spanish : 9am - Noon (consists of three different papers)
And there you have it.
It is obvious that Week 2 is the toughest, eve more so coz those are the subjectw in which you really need to be on the ball for and have studied for a lot.
Need to have my bearings with me that week.
The next few weeks will have some stressful moments, i don't doubt that, but i have a feeling it will be somewhat relaxing.
I get a bit of a lie-in (9am latest) and can study in silence at my own pace, so it's really upto me now, nobody else.
What's more - after the exam period is finished, it isn't long till my birthday so i'm sure there will be some nice celebration then. Also my family and i will be going to London for my cousin's 21st birthday at the end of June and will meet loads of family there that we haven't seen for ages. Lauren will be there too, it's gonna be so awesome.
So there's a lot to look forward to but many hurdles to jump before i get there.
The past three months have had their ups and downs and his blog has definetely touched us all, so much has happened in such short time.
Now it's gone.
....don't really know what to say, it's a blow for all of us.
For JJ coz it brought him so much happiness and was a place where he could write whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. It was an outlet.
Now it's gone.
For all the readers, young and old, it was enjoyed by everyone and was a rollercoaster ride to say the least. The blog helped everyone and gave us an insight into three months of JJ's life. I have no doubt many more people read it who didn't comment, maybe they were young and scared and reading the blog helped them out.
Now it's gone.
For me coz i encouraged JJ to start the blog and i thought it would be a good idea. I suggested it because of all the postings on RB he made (i'm sure Tristan didn't mind) and i just knew that what he wrote would make an interesting blog, it did and also be helpful for JJ at the same time.
Perhaps encouraging JJ to start a blog wasn't the best idea, maybe it was, i see two sides to the argument but either way i am still quite upset.
I just feel, now that the blog is gone, that it was bad advice on my part to suggest starting a blog and that's really bugging me, so is the fact that i think the blog should have at least remained open. However, it's not important now, it is irrelevant.
I was extremely tired when i woke up, really didn't get much sleep at all but when i got into school i was actually ok strangely enough.
I was getting comments off loads of people today hehe. I'll explain.
At the weekend i got a haircut for the first time in like a few months, long overdue probably but hey ho.
The hairdresser straightened my hair and i really liked it, ive never had my hair straightened before and i thought it was a really nice change.
So on Sunday, my mum straightened it again and showed me what to do so i could give it a go myself and this morning i did just that. (Holiday on Monday btw)
I wet it down a little, dried it and straightened it, although i had to do it quite quickly.
I only got as far as the bus stop before someone commented "Your hair looks grey"
Huh?
"Oh sorry, its the light im standing in, i see you've straightened it"
"....Yeah"
But it wasn't until i got to class did someone make a judgement about it. Louis, in my french class.
"You hair looks different"
"Yeh i straightened it"
"Nice"
That was all but it made me quite happy.
Bet you're wondering what Steven said about me using straightners.....
I posted a pic of my straightened hair on a social network site i use and his reply was "rofl"
I asked him today what that was about and he just said it was nothing and it would just take some time to get used to and told him yeh, he would have to get used to it.
Got various other comments such as "You look like a lesbian...." ?
"Only queers use straightners" (Yeh i knew i would hear tht today)
But on the whole, the comments were actually quite positive. Alan liked it, so did Louis and i think Alex did too so im gonna stick with it for now.
Anyhoo, as for Steven after what he said the other day, the issue wasn't really raised but i did tell him these stupid arguments have got to stop and he just gave me the "Oh i wasnt taking it serious" bullshit but i see right through him.
How can "all gays should be shot" not be taken seriously?
Apart from that he acted just as he normally would around me and yeh, i talked to him back, i told you i can't just ignore him but i still stand strong by my decision. I don't really care about him.
And i asked him about the Muse tickets, which will provide a few answers to your questions in the comments on the last post.
Is it a transportation thing?
Yes, the plane is already booked as is the hotel for the night.
Tickets?
Not yet released and according to Steven probably wont be until about 2 months before the gig.
At the end of the day, i am going with Steven and there isn't much that can change that i'm afraid.
Also, i must agree with you, G, that he may also be holding me back from finding a boyfriend.
Until he goes, i just gotta play it safe, but that doesn't hold me back from building stronger relationships with other boys too. Such as Alan.
I really like him, and i know fore sure i can consider him a friend, i just dunno how strongly he considers me as a friend.
He's definetely not one of the loudest people around, and he is what people would call a "worrier" but i suppose we all are in some ways.
Also, i have never heard the word "gay" escape his mouth or anything like that. Just another reason why i think he possibly could be gay.
He's just really pleasant tho i think, really nice to be around, a lot more so than Steven, it just a shame he isnt in more of my classes, only English.
I agree with what most of you guys say as well, i can't go on being friends with Steven and i don't plan to. I glad that i am not alone in that decision.
And i got some news that i may also not be alone in that decision in school too. I was talking to Louis about the argument on Friday and i was just saying that Steven is really getting on my nerves at the moment and he agreed with me!
He said "Yeh i know what you mean, he can be a great tit at times"
Took me by surprise i have to say and then i joked that i have to stay "friendly" with Steven until the Muse concert, (even though that is the truth) and he laughed at that too.
Jeez, mabye im not alone in thinking that Steven is a twat.
I already know what im gonna say to him come Christmas, simply, "Take care" and that will be it.
I won't even mean it but it will probably be one of my best Christmas presents ever.
That's right, i have my biggest Christmas planned out already in May. That is, Steven leaving school and oh, how sweet it will be.
I think im gonna create "Days Until Steven Leaves" coutndown on my ipod app "Days Until"
I've completely had it with Steven, i no longer care for him or what becomes of him.
Last night was it.
It started by a simple post on a social networking site by El, a friend, who you may or may not remember.
Anyway, his post was something along the lines of that he was making some curry whilst listening to Bloc Party and from there, it just went.
Steven joined the conversation and started having a go at El because of his like of bands such as Slipknot and then loads of people ended up joining in too.
It soon became personal with just me, El and Steven left in a heated conversation.
I can't see exactly what it said coz El removed the post but me and him both agreed and said to Steven that he was one of the most judgemental and narrow-minded people we have ever met.
He claimed he wasn't coz he "hangs" about with a guy from Pakistan.
We said it doesn't excuse his regular racist, sexist, homophobic, judgemental comments and behaviour.
He tried to say i couldn't say he was judgemental coz i called a certain tv program crap and refused to watch it and i replied that that is not at all like the way he is judgemental about actually important issues, not stupid tv programs and then he came out with the paragraph that ended our friendship, or my side of it anyway :
"Im only racist in a non serious way i dnt actually hate other races, but gays are unatural and should all be shot , if you think being gay is wrong then your being narrow minded to correct? Unless u r gay and think its ok to fuck guys"
:-|
Fuck that. That's just not acceptable.
How can he claim he isn't narrow-minded after saying that?
It infuriated me when i read that.
I just replied "Racist in a non serious way what bullshit. Also, i am simply not homophobic, as you clearly are."
But, really, that was the final straw, i no longer regard Steven as a friend.
That puts me in a dilemna, however.
I'm supposed to be going to see Muse with him in September.
Now, if that wasn't arranged, i would completely disregard him in school but i really don't wanna give up seeing Muse.
He leaves school in about 7/8 months. After that, i have no interest staying in contact with him whatsoever.
But till then....
My plan of action now is to put up with him until September 12th (the day after the Muse concert) and then, for all i care he can fuck right off.
It's gonna be difficult tho, there are still 2 months of school that i will see him for (minus study leave) so maybe a month altogether, then summer when i wont see him an awful lot probably. Then there is a few months after summer and he is gone.
In total, probably 5 more months and he is gone.
Also, he hangs around with the same other friends that i do, so i can't just completely blank him and ignore him, even if i wanted to.
Maybe you might be saying that it is wrong and i should completely forget about Steven, regardless of going to see Muse.
Well tbh, i dont think so.
Steven is a tool.
In both the literal sense and the metaphorical sense.
And what are tools for?
To be used.
And i will use him to see Muse, i don't care for him whatsoever but i am going to use him. After all, i think it's something that he pretty much deserves.
It wasn't my intention at first to use him to see Muse as we made these plans and i paid for it when we were still friends, so maybe im not entirely using him but at the end of the day, i am only going to put up with him for the next few months to go and see my favourite band play what will probably be one of their best shows ever.
....
I still can't believe how unlucky i am to have made friends with him tho.
I know how it happened but i wish i knew why, what i had i done to deserve him as a friend?
It's like a punishment.
But it hasn't always been like that.
We became friends at the end of 1st year in high school, his parents were split up and i was confused with myself and didn't know what to think.
But anyway, i felt sorry for him so i suggested he could come and hang out with me and a few people, and he did.
We got on great, hanging around with us bulit his confidence and made him other friends. It's outside of school tho, that had the main influence on him.
He went to live with his dad, who, if you didn't know by now, is exactly like Steven.
Steven gets all his bullshit from his dad and i firmly believe that if he went to live with his mum, he would be an entirely different person.
I'm glad Steven's brother lives with his mum.
But yeh, his dad has been a major influence on him and has changed him, for the worst, over the past few years.
Steven used to be scared, timid, quiet and a pussy.
Steven is now confident, load-mouthed, hot-headed but still a pussy.
That's quite contradictory but it's true, he is still a wuss.
As ive said countless time, he is all talk.
It sometimes happens in friendships tho unfortunately, people change and cant remain friends and this is what has happened here.
I like who Steven used to be but i detest who he is now.
Looking back on it, Steven has used me like a tool.
He joined into my group of friends, went from scared to confident and now comes out saying all this kind of stuff.
I don't like being used, im not gonna take it, so im gonna give him a taste of his own medicine and see how likes that.
Maybe it's not nice or like me to do it, but that's all Steven is to me now, a tool.
A tool that is of no use to me after September.
Plain and simple.
Sorry that this post has been quite unpleasant, but im quite angry, and sorry that i have swore more than usual too.
I'm 19 years old and am a raging homosexual... yes I'm gay :P
This blog is simply where i can throw down thoughts, musings, frustrations... comical genius... (?) But through this blog I also hope to help anyone who is scared, confused, unsure or in need of some place to feel better about themselves :)
